...and another one awaits.
We have memories of the past; we have hope for the future, but we only exist in the HERE and NOW. I find it interesting that we experience time in a linear fashion, even though research into quantum physics suggests that time is no more linear than space. Quantum physics also tells us that all possible outcomes/realities exist, at the quantum level mind you, but I wonder.
Troy will be the first to tell me I spend too much time looking backwards rather than forwards. He's right. I've spent a great deal of emotional energy looking at the choices I've made, the jobs I've quit, the men I've left, the friendships I've neglected, and I get very bogged down in the might-have-beens. It's an exhausting way to live, but I like to think that somewhere out there is a real life Me who didn't make some of the more stellar mistakes I have. Time and again, Troy preaches the sermon of self-forgiveness, encouraging me to start fresh everyday.
Which brings me to the dreaded tradition of January 1. I like to talk about New Year's Resolutions. I don't like to make them. My resolve (notice the word is made up of "re" to do again, and "solve" to figure out...so the term resolution carries an inherent feeling of been there, done that) is generally in short supply. :P
If I were making resolutions this year, they wouldn't be the 'lose weight' or 'save money' variety. I would resolve to be a better friend, in all realities. I would resolve to be a better mom, a more disciplined poet/writer, a kinder person. Maybe I can try to do those things without the pressure and possible failure of a resolution. I like that.
On that note, Happy New Year!!!!
Remember, 'Time is an illusion, lunchtime, doubly so." (with apologies to douglas adams)
peace
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
Sunday, December 28, 2008
the reasons why
There are two questions I have for practically everyone I meet in SL. The first one is 'why did you come to SL in the first place?' and the second one is "why do you keep coming back?' I find the answers to these two questions provide a good insight into how someone 'lives' in SL and how it functions in his or her real life.
My profile message once said something like 'we all come to sl looking for something we don't have in rl or trying to forget something rl won't let us forget.' I took that message down, but I still think it's true. I came to sl because I read an online article about it. I had recently left a very demanding and fulfilling job, found I was having trouble adjusting to the world of the stay-at-home mom, and I wanted a new hobby. I thought it was a computer game. *wipes tears of laughter from her eyes* :P
Yesterday, Troy and I spent the day in Freakheim, first working our shifts, and then hanging around for good tunes and great company. Somehow, we got onto the topic of what brought us all to SL. Many were introduced by a real life friend to SL. (I hope my rl sis forgives me for dragging her in.) A few friends of mine came because they thought they could make money. *wipes her eyes from laughter yet again* Some technophiles and WofW players come to try out the platform and the programming aspects. For many, it's just good, old-fashioned curiosity.
Well, that's the first part...but what about the second question. With older avies especially, I always want to know, why keep coming back? The best answer I ever got was 'stupidity.' That cracked me up. If you've ever had your heart broken, your money stolen, or a friend betray you, you can relate.
We've all seen the profile messages that mention the addictive nature of SL. I think some brains (I'm talking from a biochemical standpoint) actually respond more intensely to the SL experience. Some folks don't 'get it' and some 'get it' too damn well. You know what I mean.
We come for friends, for love, for music, for art, for fantasy, to fill the void, to play. We come because it's a portal to the world. I live in the middle-of-nowhere American plains, and I have friends from across the globe. We come because (and this is the true irony of SL) we crave the human interaction.
I hope you aren't waiting for a point to my rambling because it's not forthcoming. ;))
Oh, and a huge, giant congrats and a hug to Oz and Guen. I adore you both. I hope you can find your way. When two hearts try to make it work, there is no reason for regret.
peace
My profile message once said something like 'we all come to sl looking for something we don't have in rl or trying to forget something rl won't let us forget.' I took that message down, but I still think it's true. I came to sl because I read an online article about it. I had recently left a very demanding and fulfilling job, found I was having trouble adjusting to the world of the stay-at-home mom, and I wanted a new hobby. I thought it was a computer game. *wipes tears of laughter from her eyes* :P
Yesterday, Troy and I spent the day in Freakheim, first working our shifts, and then hanging around for good tunes and great company. Somehow, we got onto the topic of what brought us all to SL. Many were introduced by a real life friend to SL. (I hope my rl sis forgives me for dragging her in.) A few friends of mine came because they thought they could make money. *wipes her eyes from laughter yet again* Some technophiles and WofW players come to try out the platform and the programming aspects. For many, it's just good, old-fashioned curiosity.
Well, that's the first part...but what about the second question. With older avies especially, I always want to know, why keep coming back? The best answer I ever got was 'stupidity.' That cracked me up. If you've ever had your heart broken, your money stolen, or a friend betray you, you can relate.
We've all seen the profile messages that mention the addictive nature of SL. I think some brains (I'm talking from a biochemical standpoint) actually respond more intensely to the SL experience. Some folks don't 'get it' and some 'get it' too damn well. You know what I mean.
We come for friends, for love, for music, for art, for fantasy, to fill the void, to play. We come because it's a portal to the world. I live in the middle-of-nowhere American plains, and I have friends from across the globe. We come because (and this is the true irony of SL) we crave the human interaction.
I hope you aren't waiting for a point to my rambling because it's not forthcoming. ;))
Oh, and a huge, giant congrats and a hug to Oz and Guen. I adore you both. I hope you can find your way. When two hearts try to make it work, there is no reason for regret.
peace
Wednesday, December 24, 2008
Ho Ho Ho
Merry Christmas, holly jolly, and all that. :P
An old song, no video, but one of my favorites.
An old song, no video, but one of my favorites.
Saturday, December 20, 2008
latest poem
(sometimes, it's the littlest things you never had that you miss the most)
Sunset
tonight, just now, I looked out the
window, across a snow-covered field,
to the southwest,
the setting sun casts pale red and orange across the sky,
it’s gorgeous--the type
you write poems about.
I don’t want to write.
I want to tug your arm and point,
saying ‘look at that,’
but I can’t.
you are too far from me
we don’t share glowing horizons, time zones, or
even a continent.
the sunsets we watch together don’t
look anything like the light
streaming through my window, just now,
this moment.
so, I write another poem to you.
gratitude is the lesson I learn--
the gift of you, of us.
in quiet minutes that turn into hours
the colors deepen into night,
a few bright stars appear in my solitude
as the moon leaves your side to follow me
12-19-08
Sunset
tonight, just now, I looked out the
window, across a snow-covered field,
to the southwest,
the setting sun casts pale red and orange across the sky,
it’s gorgeous--the type
you write poems about.
I don’t want to write.
I want to tug your arm and point,
saying ‘look at that,’
but I can’t.
you are too far from me
we don’t share glowing horizons, time zones, or
even a continent.
the sunsets we watch together don’t
look anything like the light
streaming through my window, just now,
this moment.
so, I write another poem to you.
gratitude is the lesson I learn--
the gift of you, of us.
in quiet minutes that turn into hours
the colors deepen into night,
a few bright stars appear in my solitude
as the moon leaves your side to follow me
12-19-08
Sunday, December 14, 2008
Brand New Day
I've enough unheeded advice to fill a library. I've enough bad decisions to last a lifetime. And I've enough weakness to make most days a struggle, just to make it through.
Then I met someone. Someone who never held my past against me, who willingly shares my present, and who gives me hope and strength for my future. Someone who has seen the ugliest parts of me, found me at my lowest, and spent over a year lifting me up.
I have spent countless attempts justifying and rationalizing my past, and nothing worked until you helped me see things in a different light. Our RL demons follow us to SL, sometimes repaying with interest the things we'd hoped to leave behind. I will never understand what you see in me, but loving you is as effortless as drawing breath, and I am infinitely grateful to share my life with you, in whatever way we can, always.
peace, love, and all that mushy stuff :))
Then I met someone. Someone who never held my past against me, who willingly shares my present, and who gives me hope and strength for my future. Someone who has seen the ugliest parts of me, found me at my lowest, and spent over a year lifting me up.
I have spent countless attempts justifying and rationalizing my past, and nothing worked until you helped me see things in a different light. Our RL demons follow us to SL, sometimes repaying with interest the things we'd hoped to leave behind. I will never understand what you see in me, but loving you is as effortless as drawing breath, and I am infinitely grateful to share my life with you, in whatever way we can, always.
peace, love, and all that mushy stuff :))
Saturday, December 13, 2008
Our Big Day
I met Troy on November 10, 2007. We became engaged on November 17, 2008, and we partnered in SL today. Honestly, it was a day I never thought I'd see, and I couldn't be more happy or grateful that our friendship has continued to grow and change. The positive impact he has made in my RL relationships...well, it would take me hours to explain (not that I won't try in future entries). :P
I'd like to say a special thank you to Rykk, Kaedy, and Norris for helping Troy and I celebrate our special day. Kaedy's design of Freakheim looked amazing, Norris sounded awesome, and Rykk generously provided the venue for us. It was perfect in every way.
I'd also like to thank everyone who stopped by to wish us well. It's as hard to keep in touch in SL as it is in RL sometimes, and it was nice to see a few old friends, and a few new ones as well.
peace and love
I'd like to say a special thank you to Rykk, Kaedy, and Norris for helping Troy and I celebrate our special day. Kaedy's design of Freakheim looked amazing, Norris sounded awesome, and Rykk generously provided the venue for us. It was perfect in every way.
I'd also like to thank everyone who stopped by to wish us well. It's as hard to keep in touch in SL as it is in RL sometimes, and it was nice to see a few old friends, and a few new ones as well.
peace and love
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
and so this is christmas...
In my real life, this time of year can be tremendously difficult. The loss of much-loved family members, the divorces of nearly everyone in my family...it's rough. I know it is that way for many of us. In years past, it's just been me wanting to make it through the month. It's not been a time I've looked forward to. This year, things are very different. My son is nearly 3, and he really 'gets' some of the more fun aspects of christmas. Enjoying family get-togethers, putting up the tree, singing the christmas songs (over and over again) hanging the lights on the house, giving and receiving gifts...I'm seeing it all through his eyes, and it's amazing.
The other reason this time of year isn't leaving me with my usual holiday blues is that my best friend (in sl and rl) and I are getting hitched this month. I can easily say that he and I spend more time together (in and out of sl) than I do with any other person, that our friendship has transcended sl and moved to rl, and that his presence in my life I consider one of my most positive and life-changing relationships. He has pushed me to forgive myself for the considerable mistakes of my past, and to embrace my rl relationships with hope and strength. We met over a year ago, traveled a very difficult and painful road, and have finally found a way to love each other as best friends in the real world and as partners in the virtual world.
A friend and I were waxing philosophically about SL partnering (and I've recently read a few very witty blog entries about it as well) and he said something that was dead-on. We all know the folks who seem to bounce from partner to partner, ala junior high school. We all know folks who are married to each other in RL and SL. We all know folks who are committed in SL but married to someone else in RL. What motivates people to partner in the first place? What keeps these relationships going? What are the inherent problems with them? Why do some work and some do not?
My friend said (and I am paraphrasing here...not too inaccurately, I hope) that the key to finding an SL partnership that will last is very straightforward...you need to view your time in SL in the same way, want the same thing out of it, and have the same philosophy about what SL means to you. Great advice, simple, but profound. In other words, just like in RL, you need to be on the same page, same goals, same priorities, same sense of what really matters.
I'm just getting started with this topic, btw. More to come..
peace :)
The other reason this time of year isn't leaving me with my usual holiday blues is that my best friend (in sl and rl) and I are getting hitched this month. I can easily say that he and I spend more time together (in and out of sl) than I do with any other person, that our friendship has transcended sl and moved to rl, and that his presence in my life I consider one of my most positive and life-changing relationships. He has pushed me to forgive myself for the considerable mistakes of my past, and to embrace my rl relationships with hope and strength. We met over a year ago, traveled a very difficult and painful road, and have finally found a way to love each other as best friends in the real world and as partners in the virtual world.
A friend and I were waxing philosophically about SL partnering (and I've recently read a few very witty blog entries about it as well) and he said something that was dead-on. We all know the folks who seem to bounce from partner to partner, ala junior high school. We all know folks who are married to each other in RL and SL. We all know folks who are committed in SL but married to someone else in RL. What motivates people to partner in the first place? What keeps these relationships going? What are the inherent problems with them? Why do some work and some do not?
My friend said (and I am paraphrasing here...not too inaccurately, I hope) that the key to finding an SL partnership that will last is very straightforward...you need to view your time in SL in the same way, want the same thing out of it, and have the same philosophy about what SL means to you. Great advice, simple, but profound. In other words, just like in RL, you need to be on the same page, same goals, same priorities, same sense of what really matters.
I'm just getting started with this topic, btw. More to come..
peace :)
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
I should really be in bed...
and this has the air of 'it's been too long, I should post, otherwise, what's the point of this blog?' Ha...there is no point. That is the point.
Can I just say that I'm amazingly happy, that some old and new friends have shown me tremendous kindness in the last few days, and that sometimes, maybe not often, but maybe when you need it the most, life surprises you in a way that is so uncomprehendingly good that you sort of walk with light steps, afraid to wake the gods? I think I just did.
I am not an easy person to love, and I thank the people in my life who continue to do so in spite of me.
seriously, peace
Can I just say that I'm amazingly happy, that some old and new friends have shown me tremendous kindness in the last few days, and that sometimes, maybe not often, but maybe when you need it the most, life surprises you in a way that is so uncomprehendingly good that you sort of walk with light steps, afraid to wake the gods? I think I just did.
I am not an easy person to love, and I thank the people in my life who continue to do so in spite of me.
seriously, peace
Thursday, November 20, 2008
Song for the Day
(I first heard Max Kleene sing this...months before it started to get popular radio play)
I'm Yours by Jason Mraz
Well you done done me and you bet I felt it
I tried to be chill but you're so hot that I melted
I fell right through the cracks
Now I'm trying to get back
Before the cool done run out
I'll be giving it my bestest
And nothing's gonna to stop me but divine intervention
I reckon it's again my turn to win some or learn some
But I won't hesitate no more, no more
It cannot wait, I'm yours
Well open up your mind and see like me
Open up your plans and damn you're free
Look into your heart and you'll find love love love love
Listen to the music of the moment, people dance and sing
We're just one big family
And it's our God-forsaken right to be loved love loved love loved
So I won't hesitate no more, no more
It cannot wait, I'm sure
There's no need to complicate
Our time is short
This is our fate, I'm yours
Scooch on closer dear
And I will nibble your ear
I've been spending way too long checking my tongue in the mirror
And bending over backwards just to try to see it clearer
But my breath fogged up the glass
And so I drew a new face and I laughed
I guess what I be saying is there ain't no better reason
To rid yourself of vanities and just go with the seasons
It's what we aim to do
Our name is our virtue
But I won't hesitate no more, no more
It cannot wait, I'm yours
Well open up your mind and see like me
Open up your plans and damn you're free
Look into your heart and you'll find that the sky is yours
So, please don't, please don't, please don't
There's no need to complicate
Cause our time is short
This is our fate, I'm yours
I'm Yours by Jason Mraz
Well you done done me and you bet I felt it
I tried to be chill but you're so hot that I melted
I fell right through the cracks
Now I'm trying to get back
Before the cool done run out
I'll be giving it my bestest
And nothing's gonna to stop me but divine intervention
I reckon it's again my turn to win some or learn some
But I won't hesitate no more, no more
It cannot wait, I'm yours
Well open up your mind and see like me
Open up your plans and damn you're free
Look into your heart and you'll find love love love love
Listen to the music of the moment, people dance and sing
We're just one big family
And it's our God-forsaken right to be loved love loved love loved
So I won't hesitate no more, no more
It cannot wait, I'm sure
There's no need to complicate
Our time is short
This is our fate, I'm yours
Scooch on closer dear
And I will nibble your ear
I've been spending way too long checking my tongue in the mirror
And bending over backwards just to try to see it clearer
But my breath fogged up the glass
And so I drew a new face and I laughed
I guess what I be saying is there ain't no better reason
To rid yourself of vanities and just go with the seasons
It's what we aim to do
Our name is our virtue
But I won't hesitate no more, no more
It cannot wait, I'm yours
Well open up your mind and see like me
Open up your plans and damn you're free
Look into your heart and you'll find that the sky is yours
So, please don't, please don't, please don't
There's no need to complicate
Cause our time is short
This is our fate, I'm yours
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
Musician's Spotlight: Norris Shepherd
(this is an article I wrote a few months ago for the journal that folded...did I mention yet? GO SEE A SHOW!! ;)))
Friends of mine are well-accustomed to hearing me go on-and-on about the awesome live music scene in SL. Once I discovered that first performance, I was hooked, and my SL experience transformed. Every single time I log on, I begin with "Search" --> "Events" --> "Live Music" as I hungrily scroll down for my favorites. At the top of my list of favorites (damn the 25 group maximum) is the most talented farm boy/singer/song writer/homemade wine enthusiast you are ever going to meet in any Life, and that's Norris Shepherd.
According to his bio, Shepherd is a RL New Brunswick, Canada farmer who plays "an eclectic collection of songs including folk, pop/rock, Canadian indie and alternative, and sticks in a few original songs on occasion." Such a description, however, does not capture the magic of a Norris Shepherd show. The first thing you'll notice, besides the sexy, gravely voice and easy laugh, is a very imposing avatar wearing denim overalls, but no shoes. This outfit has become Shepherd's trademark, and if you become a member of his group, "Norris Shepherd and his Sheep Dawgs," you'll get a set of overalls absolutely free! I asked Shepherd where the overalls came from. Turns out that story is closely linked to how he ended up playing music in SL in the first place.
Like most of us, Shepherd heard a story in the news about SL, and curiosity brought him to the Grid. And again, like most of us, it took him much trial and error to find his niche in SL. He tried car racing, basketball, and even the club scene. The trouble was, he didn't enjoy the clubs, "the superficiality, the shallowness really drove me nuts" especially given his profile honestly states "A simple farm boy..." Tired of the club scene, Shepherd decided, on a whim, to see if there were pub-style venues that might cater to a different crowd. In that search for a pub, he found a listing for a live musician.
Upon rezzing (arriving) at this first show, he didn't realize it was truly a live performance--as in a real human being plugged into real sound equipment playing in real time. He laughed to himself that people would pretend to play live music in SL. Then, he got his audio adjusted and experienced live music for the first time in SL. That artist was another SL great, Harper Messmer, and as Shepherd listened to him perform, he found what he'd been missing in SL.
Shepherd's real life musical background includes being a self-taught guitar player, singer/songwriter, and garage band member. His experience in front of an audience was most often playing at parties while everyone gathered round to listen and make requests. However, because of his isolated RL locale, he'd not played guitar in nine years simply because he had no audience to play for. But the more shows he attended in SL, the more his desire to perform was rekindled.
His transition from audience member to artist began a year ago this month when he played an open mic party with a rented mixer and mics. Truly, that was only the beginning. These days, you can find Shepherd playing at least two or three shows a week. Most exciting for his fans, he's just released his first recorded song online. The track, "Sidekick" can be downloaded for free at http://www.norrisshepherd.com/Sidekick/Sidekick.html As for what the future holds, Shepherd intends to concentrate on his originals, with more recordings to come.
Shepherd loves playing in SL. His set list comes from songs he likes rather than songs he thinks are popular favorites, and his assumption (quite right, by the way) is that if he's having a good time, that energy carries over to the audience. "I want to have fun, and I want people to feel at home and welcome at my shows." He said one of the greatest compliments he hears is when someone says, "I saw you were playing tonight and was glad to see that. I had a rough day, and I really enjoy going to your show." Shepherd said heartfelt words such as those are one of the reasons he loves playing in SL because it gives him the chance to play for an appreciative audience, put a smile on someone's face, and make someone's bad day a little better.
Oh, and the overalls...a gag gift from a friend who knew exactly how much Shepherd disliked the vibe in the club scene--the same club scene that sent him in search of that pub--that allowed him to hear Harper that first time. Shepherd donned those overalls in the middle of a gig one night, and he hasn't taken them off since. Lucky for us, he keeps on playing in SL.
http://www.myspace.com/norrisshepherd
Friends of mine are well-accustomed to hearing me go on-and-on about the awesome live music scene in SL. Once I discovered that first performance, I was hooked, and my SL experience transformed. Every single time I log on, I begin with "Search" --> "Events" --> "Live Music" as I hungrily scroll down for my favorites. At the top of my list of favorites (damn the 25 group maximum) is the most talented farm boy/singer/song writer/homemade wine enthusiast you are ever going to meet in any Life, and that's Norris Shepherd.
According to his bio, Shepherd is a RL New Brunswick, Canada farmer who plays "an eclectic collection of songs including folk, pop/rock, Canadian indie and alternative, and sticks in a few original songs on occasion." Such a description, however, does not capture the magic of a Norris Shepherd show. The first thing you'll notice, besides the sexy, gravely voice and easy laugh, is a very imposing avatar wearing denim overalls, but no shoes. This outfit has become Shepherd's trademark, and if you become a member of his group, "Norris Shepherd and his Sheep Dawgs," you'll get a set of overalls absolutely free! I asked Shepherd where the overalls came from. Turns out that story is closely linked to how he ended up playing music in SL in the first place.
Like most of us, Shepherd heard a story in the news about SL, and curiosity brought him to the Grid. And again, like most of us, it took him much trial and error to find his niche in SL. He tried car racing, basketball, and even the club scene. The trouble was, he didn't enjoy the clubs, "the superficiality, the shallowness really drove me nuts" especially given his profile honestly states "A simple farm boy..." Tired of the club scene, Shepherd decided, on a whim, to see if there were pub-style venues that might cater to a different crowd. In that search for a pub, he found a listing for a live musician.
Upon rezzing (arriving) at this first show, he didn't realize it was truly a live performance--as in a real human being plugged into real sound equipment playing in real time. He laughed to himself that people would pretend to play live music in SL. Then, he got his audio adjusted and experienced live music for the first time in SL. That artist was another SL great, Harper Messmer, and as Shepherd listened to him perform, he found what he'd been missing in SL.
Shepherd's real life musical background includes being a self-taught guitar player, singer/songwriter, and garage band member. His experience in front of an audience was most often playing at parties while everyone gathered round to listen and make requests. However, because of his isolated RL locale, he'd not played guitar in nine years simply because he had no audience to play for. But the more shows he attended in SL, the more his desire to perform was rekindled.
His transition from audience member to artist began a year ago this month when he played an open mic party with a rented mixer and mics. Truly, that was only the beginning. These days, you can find Shepherd playing at least two or three shows a week. Most exciting for his fans, he's just released his first recorded song online. The track, "Sidekick" can be downloaded for free at http://www.norrisshepherd.com/Sidekick/Sidekick.html As for what the future holds, Shepherd intends to concentrate on his originals, with more recordings to come.
Shepherd loves playing in SL. His set list comes from songs he likes rather than songs he thinks are popular favorites, and his assumption (quite right, by the way) is that if he's having a good time, that energy carries over to the audience. "I want to have fun, and I want people to feel at home and welcome at my shows." He said one of the greatest compliments he hears is when someone says, "I saw you were playing tonight and was glad to see that. I had a rough day, and I really enjoy going to your show." Shepherd said heartfelt words such as those are one of the reasons he loves playing in SL because it gives him the chance to play for an appreciative audience, put a smile on someone's face, and make someone's bad day a little better.
Oh, and the overalls...a gag gift from a friend who knew exactly how much Shepherd disliked the vibe in the club scene--the same club scene that sent him in search of that pub--that allowed him to hear Harper that first time. Shepherd donned those overalls in the middle of a gig one night, and he hasn't taken them off since. Lucky for us, he keeps on playing in SL.
http://www.myspace.com/norrisshepherd
Things Change
So, I guess the question is, how do you deal with it? I had a professor in college who used to say to us ‘embrace it and let it go.’ It seemed very wise to me, then, as it does now.
A new friend gave me some very good advice last night in SL. We were talking about insecurities and jealousies, and how she’s held on and made a best friend out of an ‘ex.’ She said she’s learned to hold on to the best parts of a relationship and let go of what isn’t working, couldn’t last, or wasn’t meant to be. I’ve spent the last year analyzing how to ‘live’ in SL, how to deal with the way friendships and relationships change, sometimes for the better, sometimes for the worse. The things she said were damn smart, but then, so is she.
Lissa’s tip of the day: try peace, try moving on, try seeing things for what they are rather than what you wish they could be.
:)
A new friend gave me some very good advice last night in SL. We were talking about insecurities and jealousies, and how she’s held on and made a best friend out of an ‘ex.’ She said she’s learned to hold on to the best parts of a relationship and let go of what isn’t working, couldn’t last, or wasn’t meant to be. I’ve spent the last year analyzing how to ‘live’ in SL, how to deal with the way friendships and relationships change, sometimes for the better, sometimes for the worse. The things she said were damn smart, but then, so is she.
Lissa’s tip of the day: try peace, try moving on, try seeing things for what they are rather than what you wish they could be.
:)
Monday, November 17, 2008
As the bard (another brit I'm quite fond of) might say:
Those friends thou hast, and their adoption tried,
Grapple them unto thy soul with hoops of steel.
There are days that you wait for, days you can't even let yourself hope for, and days that make all the difference. Sometimes, they happen all at once.
Grapple them unto thy soul with hoops of steel.
There are days that you wait for, days you can't even let yourself hope for, and days that make all the difference. Sometimes, they happen all at once.
Friday, November 14, 2008
Random Bits of BS
--->Things that annoy me...fake, unwarranted, or just plain mean attitude in SL annoys me to no end. You read these profile messages, and it's like they are competing for Bitch/Asshole of the year. I suppose being nice is just too lame--it's so much more cool to have an attitude. I'm well aware of the manipulative games people play there, so some of that attitude is understandable, say, if you've been lied to and betrayed. Well, if you have, it begs the question why do you keep logging on in the first place, and why are you determined to become the very type of person who's hurt you so? When I see a particularly unpleasant profile, I also wonder what kind of doormat that person is in RL, to have such a need to be 'tough' in SL. Eye contact keeps a good many closet jerks in check in RL, and it's just too bad that you don't need actual courage to be a prick in SL.
--->I bet you've got at least one person on your friendslist who is currently 'taking a leave' from SL. I've got several. Heartbreak and/or friendship betrayal are probably the biggest reasons, but many of us have left...only to return...including me. When I was early into SL, I met someone who told me (upon hearing I was a married housewife) to 'get out...get out now.' He seemed to imply that SL might at some point occupy too much of my time and energy...that it was filled with (unknown by me at the time) pitfalls and perils. 'haha' I responded. haha indeeed
--->In the past few weeks, I've made the transition from dancer to host, working two clubs currently. It's funny how hectic it seems, running contests, inviting folks to join the group, and my personal goal, making Local Chat something other than gesture spam and LOL (and yes, I can LOL with the best of 'em). It is not easy. Maybe I'll get better. :P
peace
--->I bet you've got at least one person on your friendslist who is currently 'taking a leave' from SL. I've got several. Heartbreak and/or friendship betrayal are probably the biggest reasons, but many of us have left...only to return...including me. When I was early into SL, I met someone who told me (upon hearing I was a married housewife) to 'get out...get out now.' He seemed to imply that SL might at some point occupy too much of my time and energy...that it was filled with (unknown by me at the time) pitfalls and perils. 'haha' I responded. haha indeeed
--->In the past few weeks, I've made the transition from dancer to host, working two clubs currently. It's funny how hectic it seems, running contests, inviting folks to join the group, and my personal goal, making Local Chat something other than gesture spam and LOL (and yes, I can LOL with the best of 'em). It is not easy. Maybe I'll get better. :P
peace
Thursday, November 6, 2008
Family Affair
Yesterday, after a little urging, I got my RL sister signed up to SL. I've spent the last two days seeing SL through the noobie perspective I thought I'd cast off long ago. I didn't realize how much I've learned, how much seems natural to me, until I started trying to explain things to her.
This brings me to something I've noticed for some time in SL...the overt and arrogant noobism that experienced residents display towards new residents. There are groups that are anti-noob, and many a profile has some quip criticizing the noobie ways. I've seen veteran residents belittle noobs in Local Chat simply because they didn't understand some 'basic' concept of SL.
Unless you relish the small-town, gossip-rich environment, you should welcome new blood and be as helpful as possible to new residents. Without new residents (who actually keep coming back and become contributing members of SL) the platform cannot thrive, and it will sink further into the high-school drama dynamic already much too present (except, of course, the sex in high school is real).
There are two kinds of noob: authentic, ruthed out, walking into walls, and generally bewildered, lonely, and often abused by veteran citizens. The second kind is only a few days old, already has payment info on file, is perfectly dressed, sporting costly skin and polished hair. Yes, the Alt...not a noob at all. Be as nice as you can to the former...very wary of the latter...and that's a discussion for another day. ;))
peace
This brings me to something I've noticed for some time in SL...the overt and arrogant noobism that experienced residents display towards new residents. There are groups that are anti-noob, and many a profile has some quip criticizing the noobie ways. I've seen veteran residents belittle noobs in Local Chat simply because they didn't understand some 'basic' concept of SL.
Unless you relish the small-town, gossip-rich environment, you should welcome new blood and be as helpful as possible to new residents. Without new residents (who actually keep coming back and become contributing members of SL) the platform cannot thrive, and it will sink further into the high-school drama dynamic already much too present (except, of course, the sex in high school is real).
There are two kinds of noob: authentic, ruthed out, walking into walls, and generally bewildered, lonely, and often abused by veteran citizens. The second kind is only a few days old, already has payment info on file, is perfectly dressed, sporting costly skin and polished hair. Yes, the Alt...not a noob at all. Be as nice as you can to the former...very wary of the latter...and that's a discussion for another day. ;))
peace
Sunday, November 2, 2008
Doing Business in SL
As soon as LL went with the decision to incorporate a currency and means of producing goods and services into SL, they altered the experience from a "game" where people expect to pour money with no dividend except pleasure into a "virtual environment" in which residents can and do make real money. LL now markets the platform to businesses and universities as a means of positively influencing the bottom line.
My experiences working in SL have involved two jobs. My first was as chief editor of an in-world journal that completely failed to see the light of pixels. Over the course of about a month, I watched the owner pour thousands of linden into properties and equipment and office goods to produce the journal. We hired a staff. We made assignments. The staff did great work. When I gave the owner the word counts of the stories so he could pay the staff, he fired everyone (via group posting sent in the middle of the night) folded the journal, moved into an alt, and never paid anyone for their work. In the real world, he'd be facing legal action, but in SL, other than us filing abuse reports (about which nothing was done) he faced no legal penalties.
My second and current job is as a dancer at Sanctuary Rock. Here, I essentially donate my time to the club, and my income is entirely dependent on the kindness of the customers, if they choose to tip me. My job is to be friendly and have a good time in local chat, thereby creating a positive environment to which residents might want to return.
I've friends who DJ, design, build, script, own venues or stores, play live music, and buy, sell, and rent virtual property. These hobbies become a means of self-expression, sometimes help them 'break even' in SL, and on rare occasion, translate to RL income. However, they also do LL a tremendous service by creating a world that induces those with "No Payment Info on File" to join the ranks of "Payment Info Used."
I'm not happy about the latest LL policy change regarding OS sims. You can read the forum's several thousand responses and get the scoop. I don't need to go into that here. The point is, if LL wants residents to keep pouring the sometimes thousands of RL dollars into the virtual environment, they would be served in the long run to remember the RL adage "the customer is always right." To institute fee hikes without warning, on either OS, mainland, or private ownership, is to fail to grasp the essence of what keeps SL going...the ones willing to invest substantially in time and money for this so called 'hobby' or 'game.'
My experiences working in SL have involved two jobs. My first was as chief editor of an in-world journal that completely failed to see the light of pixels. Over the course of about a month, I watched the owner pour thousands of linden into properties and equipment and office goods to produce the journal. We hired a staff. We made assignments. The staff did great work. When I gave the owner the word counts of the stories so he could pay the staff, he fired everyone (via group posting sent in the middle of the night) folded the journal, moved into an alt, and never paid anyone for their work. In the real world, he'd be facing legal action, but in SL, other than us filing abuse reports (about which nothing was done) he faced no legal penalties.
My second and current job is as a dancer at Sanctuary Rock. Here, I essentially donate my time to the club, and my income is entirely dependent on the kindness of the customers, if they choose to tip me. My job is to be friendly and have a good time in local chat, thereby creating a positive environment to which residents might want to return.
I've friends who DJ, design, build, script, own venues or stores, play live music, and buy, sell, and rent virtual property. These hobbies become a means of self-expression, sometimes help them 'break even' in SL, and on rare occasion, translate to RL income. However, they also do LL a tremendous service by creating a world that induces those with "No Payment Info on File" to join the ranks of "Payment Info Used."
I'm not happy about the latest LL policy change regarding OS sims. You can read the forum's several thousand responses and get the scoop. I don't need to go into that here. The point is, if LL wants residents to keep pouring the sometimes thousands of RL dollars into the virtual environment, they would be served in the long run to remember the RL adage "the customer is always right." To institute fee hikes without warning, on either OS, mainland, or private ownership, is to fail to grasp the essence of what keeps SL going...the ones willing to invest substantially in time and money for this so called 'hobby' or 'game.'
Sunday, October 26, 2008
Just like in real life...
...one person makes all the difference. One of my best friends, (sl/rl), is offline this weekend. So, I've logged on a few times, done some freebie hunting (I'm a pro), tinkered with the house, hit my usual sims, but it's no good. When the one person who really matters is gone, it's flat-out lonesome in ANY reality.
It's funny how the more time I spend in SL, the more convinced I am in the lack of a line between RL and SL. And then...something to make me think twice. While shopping yesterday, I profile perved an avi who's First Life message point blank states that he uses his avatar to explore his deepest, most disturbing and (from the looks of his group memberships) violent and sexually aggressive compulsions. It was perhaps one of the scariest profiles I've ever encountered. I guess SL is good for him, if he's harboring all these violent tendencies...as long as SL quenches the need rather than fans the flame. I just don't know. I guess it's not much different than some of the more violent video games out there, except the RPing aspect can become extraordinarily 'real' from a psychological perspective. SL seems more 'authentic' than any FPS game I've ever played or heard about.
I hope he finds what he needs in SL, and I hope he can keep the divide successfully intact, something I could never do.
peace
It's funny how the more time I spend in SL, the more convinced I am in the lack of a line between RL and SL. And then...something to make me think twice. While shopping yesterday, I profile perved an avi who's First Life message point blank states that he uses his avatar to explore his deepest, most disturbing and (from the looks of his group memberships) violent and sexually aggressive compulsions. It was perhaps one of the scariest profiles I've ever encountered. I guess SL is good for him, if he's harboring all these violent tendencies...as long as SL quenches the need rather than fans the flame. I just don't know. I guess it's not much different than some of the more violent video games out there, except the RPing aspect can become extraordinarily 'real' from a psychological perspective. SL seems more 'authentic' than any FPS game I've ever played or heard about.
I hope he finds what he needs in SL, and I hope he can keep the divide successfully intact, something I could never do.
peace
Friday, October 24, 2008
Who are You in SL?
I don't think SL is a 'game.' The reason I don't is because for the first few months of my time there, I tried to treat it as such, and I failed miserably. What I mean by 'game' is that if you engage in behavior in SL that you would not in RL, that is a game mentality. Obviously, there are no winners or losers in SL (although a case could be made...). I think the 'game' mentality is what allows people to lie, cheat, steal, and otherwise manipulate avi's in ways they would never have the guts or the malice to in RL. I think SL is positive in that it fosters people's creativity and need for companionship, but also a negative for allowing avi's to engage in ANY sort of behavior they wish to without risk of pesky, RL consequences.
I grant that the environment allows us to live out our wildest fantasies, and there is nothing wrong with that, per say. The problem, for many, is when what you are doing in SL conflicts with who you think you are in RL. It became a problem for me, at any rate. Once I realized I could no longer do things in SL that I wouldn't in RL, the 'game' aspect disappeared entirely for me, and I had to completely redefine my purpose in SL. It wasn't easy. It's still evolving.
peace ;)
I grant that the environment allows us to live out our wildest fantasies, and there is nothing wrong with that, per say. The problem, for many, is when what you are doing in SL conflicts with who you think you are in RL. It became a problem for me, at any rate. Once I realized I could no longer do things in SL that I wouldn't in RL, the 'game' aspect disappeared entirely for me, and I had to completely redefine my purpose in SL. It wasn't easy. It's still evolving.
peace ;)
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
On Blank Profiles...
I don't like them. While working at Sanctuary Rock today, an avatar IM'd me, and the first thing I did, the first thing I always do prior to responding to an IM from someone I don't know, is look at the profile. Mostly, his was blank. One group membership showing, but that was all. Nothing in "About Me" and nothing in "First Life."
He admitted it made him look like a spy or a perv. I agreed. He even admitted the avi was an alt (much more to come on the subject of alts).
So, Lissa's tip of the day is this: Put something in your profile. Even if it's a message about how much you hate profiles, don't have anything witty to say, or could care less if anyone ever IM's you because of your profile. Take some effort and write a little something. (says the compulsive writer) :P
peace
He admitted it made him look like a spy or a perv. I agreed. He even admitted the avi was an alt (much more to come on the subject of alts).
So, Lissa's tip of the day is this: Put something in your profile. Even if it's a message about how much you hate profiles, don't have anything witty to say, or could care less if anyone ever IM's you because of your profile. Take some effort and write a little something. (says the compulsive writer) :P
peace
Monday, October 20, 2008
Oh, and...
I created this blog about a month ago...in anxious anticipation of my first rez day in SL...and promptly forgot about it. So, October 17 marked my one year anniversary of 'life' in SL. I tend to get annoyingly philosophical with very little prompting, so there.
Sound and Fury
signifying nothing...that's sort of my overall opinion of blogs, and the idea of an SL avatar blog is just too asinine to pass up. So, welcome. ;))
This is basically going to be Lissa's journal, her experiences, her philosophy on life, the universe, and everything, and what happens in SL that doesn't stay in SL.
First of all, if you've read my in-world profile, you know I have an issue with those who insist they keep SL and RL separate. Basically, I think they are either totally full of shit, or they are pathological liars who treat the real humans behind the avi's in SL with a great measure of contempt. I don't trust anyone who either has their first life section blank or says it's none of your business or anything along those lines. What, exactly, are they hiding that they need to keep the two so far apart? I know a thing or two about hiding, so I understand what they are saying, and I don't like it. :P Sure, it's a free SL...
OK, another thing I'm going to ramble on and on about is my view on the psychological impact of the SL experience. In a nutshell, I think it is profound, transformative, and in some cases, destructive, negative, and distracting from RL friendships and responsibilities. There will be lots of posts along those lines.
Stay tuned...I'm going to try to keep the posts short, so all two of you who read them won't be too damn bored.
peace ;)
This is basically going to be Lissa's journal, her experiences, her philosophy on life, the universe, and everything, and what happens in SL that doesn't stay in SL.
First of all, if you've read my in-world profile, you know I have an issue with those who insist they keep SL and RL separate. Basically, I think they are either totally full of shit, or they are pathological liars who treat the real humans behind the avi's in SL with a great measure of contempt. I don't trust anyone who either has their first life section blank or says it's none of your business or anything along those lines. What, exactly, are they hiding that they need to keep the two so far apart? I know a thing or two about hiding, so I understand what they are saying, and I don't like it. :P Sure, it's a free SL...
OK, another thing I'm going to ramble on and on about is my view on the psychological impact of the SL experience. In a nutshell, I think it is profound, transformative, and in some cases, destructive, negative, and distracting from RL friendships and responsibilities. There will be lots of posts along those lines.
Stay tuned...I'm going to try to keep the posts short, so all two of you who read them won't be too damn bored.
peace ;)
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