and so this is christmas...

In my real life, this time of year can be tremendously difficult. The loss of much-loved family members, the divorces of nearly everyone in my family...it's rough. I know it is that way for many of us. In years past, it's just been me wanting to make it through the month. It's not been a time I've looked forward to. This year, things are very different. My son is nearly 3, and he really 'gets' some of the more fun aspects of christmas. Enjoying family get-togethers, putting up the tree, singing the christmas songs (over and over again) hanging the lights on the house, giving and receiving gifts...I'm seeing it all through his eyes, and it's amazing.

The other reason this time of year isn't leaving me with my usual holiday blues is that my best friend (in sl and rl) and I are getting hitched this month. I can easily say that he and I spend more time together (in and out of sl) than I do with any other person, that our friendship has transcended sl and moved to rl, and that his presence in my life I consider one of my most positive and life-changing relationships. He has pushed me to forgive myself for the considerable mistakes of my past, and to embrace my rl relationships with hope and strength. We met over a year ago, traveled a very difficult and painful road, and have finally found a way to love each other as best friends in the real world and as partners in the virtual world.

A friend and I were waxing philosophically about SL partnering (and I've recently read a few very witty blog entries about it as well) and he said something that was dead-on. We all know the folks who seem to bounce from partner to partner, ala junior high school. We all know folks who are married to each other in RL and SL. We all know folks who are committed in SL but married to someone else in RL. What motivates people to partner in the first place? What keeps these relationships going? What are the inherent problems with them? Why do some work and some do not?

My friend said (and I am paraphrasing here...not too inaccurately, I hope) that the key to finding an SL partnership that will last is very straightforward...you need to view your time in SL in the same way, want the same thing out of it, and have the same philosophy about what SL means to you. Great advice, simple, but profound. In other words, just like in RL, you need to be on the same page, same goals, same priorities, same sense of what really matters.

I'm just getting started with this topic, btw. More to come..

peace :)