Wednesday, January 28, 2009

on inspiration and writer's block

Taking a look at Guen's blog, (Crimson Flow), she mentioned another blogger's challenge of writing about what inspires us. Since I'm struggling in that very department, in terms of my writing (whether poetry, lissa's blog, or melissa's blog that I actually DID start yesterday), I thought I would try to write about Inspiration.

First and foremost, my background in literature is the number one source of my inspiration...specifically the English Renaissance and the 20th Century American writers. The thing is, that's pretty damn intimidating. It sometimes stifles your own creativity when you are constantly comparing yourself to the greatest in your genre. Funnily enough, reading some of the other SL bloggers has also been intimidating.

...hmmm, this is coming off as anti-inspiration, but then, that's where I'm at...

Friends and family know I write, so every few years, someone gives me a blank journal as a gift. As you might guess, I've got a half-dozen, half-filled journals. The small notebook I carry in my purse, in case inspiration strikes, is more likely to contain the latest list for the grocery store as it is my latest observation or line of poetry.

BUT...what inspires me...literature, art, music, acts of kindness, the moonrise and a star-filled sky, horseback riding, the way a red-tailed hawk stalks his prey, coyotes yipping in the middle of the night, watching a thunderstorm build to the west and then race my direction, my son, my past, my present, and my future. *sighs* And, yet, I have writer's block? How ironic.

peace

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

or not

In accordance with the wishes of a very persuasive person *coughs and mutters* 'troy,' I've decided to do both a real blog and keep up with lissa's. However, the posts here will be less often. If I manage one intelligent post a week--on second thought, let me make that two a month---who am I kidding...I'll be doing better than I am now.

Here's hoping for inspiration. :P

Signifying Nothing

I started this blog because I had all these wonderful ideas about witty essays and observations I could make about my time in SL. I started this blog because I'm writing all the time, in my head, and I thought it would induce me to get pen to paper (metaphorically speaking). I started this blog with the best of intentions, hoping to post every other day. hmmm

I'm born and raised in the midwest, the 'heartland,' the 'bible belt,' of the US. Although I share virtually nothing with my fellow citizens in terms of the predominant politics of this region, the landscape is my home. In my bones, I am a part of this place, and sometimes, I really hate that. But, you can fight the inevitable all you want, it's still coming to get you.

One thing I do share with the farmers and ranchers of this prairie is an uncompromising bullshit detector, a true practicality, a sometimes heartless pragmatism. I am always looking for the bottom line, what's left when you scrape away everything that's superfluous, fake, trivial. The heart of the matter is all that concerns me.

That said, I'm phasing out this blog. It's pointless. I am a writer. I think my time and effort should be directed towards something I'd be inclined to share with my (non-SL) friends and family. I blog my poetry with some former co-workers, but I don't have a blog for melissa...I think it's time I did. I should be writing more poetry--I've only managed two poems this month. I should be writing essays about my son, my family, my real life friends (including the ones who've crossed over from SL), my experiences when I'm doing something besides sitting in front of a computer. This blog takes time and effort that seem to be in short supply for me these days, so...

Here's my most recent poem--it's very bad, it shows how out of practice I am. The craft of poetry requires a groove, a familiarity, a consistency of theme and subject matter. This poem shows me floundering, having lost my footing. Here's hoping I get it back.

on obligation and poetry

each morning, she dumps the used coffee grounds
from the previous day's pot, a chore she always
promises herself she'd do the night before.

each morning, she must clean the stained
carafe before she can fill it with water.

each morning, she makes a bit of a mess, cursing
softly, as she rinses the last specks of black down the drain.

each morning, when the automated wonder signals
it's finished, a steaming mug only moments away,
the boy asks 'mommy, what's that noise?'

each morning, she smiles and says, 'mommy's coffee is ready'
to which he replies, with a knowing nod, 'oh, sure.'

shakespeare will tell her the rest is silence,
yeats will tell her the center cannot hold,
hemingway will tell her it's just a dirty trick--

she'll fix herself another cup, sigh,
and wonder, what's next, what's next?

Saturday, January 17, 2009

song for the day

Sometimes, you get an old song stuck in your head for no particular reason, and sometimes, you know exactly why. One of my favorite bands, too.

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

a few new names

My groups show my very favorite musicians in SL, and I'm always maxed out on Groups--but I caught two musicians today I'd never heard before, and I strongly recommend them (even though I can't join their groups!) Steely Decosta was at The Falls and Jase Branner was at Herd Thinner's Pub. Both are very good, and play a nice mix of artists. Have I mentioned the Live Music in SL kicks ass? No? Really? Well, it does. :P

I also saw two of the most well-known and respected SL builders/designers at Jase's show, RH Engel and Rebel Hope. They looked stunning, of course. I'd never seen them in person before.

A good day in SL, and nice to catch a few shows.

peace


Tuesday, January 13, 2009

and....

....today is Troy and Lissa's One Month "Partnering" Anniversary!! hehe

So, happy anniversary, sweetie!

xoxoxoxoxoxooxox

:))))

birthday musings

warning: pointless philosophical ramblings ahead...but it's my birthday, and I can pontificate if I want to. :P

I've grown tired of the games people play. I've grown tired of the 'woe is me' attitude, and I've grown tired of the silly, little stunts people pull in an effort to make themselves relevant. I purposely stay as 'out of the loop' as possible regarding the hook-ups and break-ups in SL, the backstabbing, the name-calling, and the drama. I see how truly pointless it is and how detrimental it is to one's quality of life, regardless if it's virtual or not. One of my favorite phrases regarding SL is 'don't go borrowing trouble .' Indeed.

Troy and I had a long talk Sunday about leaving SL. We've had the talk before. One of my closest friends just left, and I respect her decision, her reasons, and frankly, I think she's right. I hope her leave of absence 'takes' and she's able to stay away. There must be a 'point of no return,' for many in SL, and after that time, leaving becomes damn near impossible.

But back to Troy and I. I don't know what the future holds for us...if we'll stay or if we'll invest ourselves fully in RL. The point is, we don't need SL. We are above it. It's something we do for fun, but it doesn't define our relationship. He has a RL best friend he met in SL over two years ago, and she rarely logs on, but that doesn't matter; they are still best friends. Their relationship is stronger than and bigger than SL. That's where Troy and I are. I've pushed him away too many times, and he's put me through the wringer a few times as well, but here we are, past all that nonsense, strong as ever. More gratitude from me, and that's something I won't let go of.

peace

Sunday, January 11, 2009

song for the day

It's a bright, sunny day, my RL birthday is in a few, with some plans for good times coming up, I've heard from quite a few old RL friends lately, and I feel stronger and stronger.

acoustic AND rob thomas? how could I resist? I originally saw this because the husband of one of my RL best friends posted this to her FB page. God, do I relate. :P


Tuesday, January 6, 2009

Top Ten Little Annoyances About SL

Just a smart-assed collection of things I've observed more than a few times in my little-over-a year in SL. I'll refrain from the obvious choices of 'lag' 'logins temporarily disabled' or the lovely gas clouds we sometimes materialize as.


10. Residents whose profile messages make pronouncements about being 'drama-free' tend to be the bitchiest, most instigator-ish of all.

9. Residents will go on and on about how they hate SL and are leaving, but few actually follow-through.

8. Residents who do actually leave either pick up an Alt or return to their former avies within a few weeks.

7. Many residents do not know the difference between flirting and looking desperate.

6. Gesture spam (aside from that of staff on-duty at venues) is the SL equivalent of idiots who talk on their cell-phones too loudly in public. No one else gives a damn, and it interferes with real conversation.

5. Residents who wear face lights/lamps bright enough to light up or wash out the avatars standing next to them are complete idiots.

4. Talking fetuses freak me the fuck out.

3. Many Residents try way too hard to look as if they aren't trying at all. One example is when people make statements in Local Chat that the reason they don't talk in Local is they are soooo busy in IM, or they say something about being in IM Hell. Profile messages which state "I don't follow local chat" also fall into this category.

2. The only thing stupider than a talking fetus is equipping your avatar to use the restroom.

And the Number One most annoying thing about SL....

1. Pointless avatar blogs. (erm, hey, that sounds familiar) :p

Friday, January 2, 2009

back into the swing of things

I'm looking forward to that sense of normalcy that follows the holidays, both in SL and RL, since the craziness of the last two weeks. My son had a wonderful christmas...the boy is spoiled! My RL saw an interesting reunion/coming together for the holidays, and it affected me greatly. I'm so pleased my parents can act like adults and not petulant children, putting someone else's wishes ahead of their own. Even at my age, I'm still learning lessons of selflessness from them. I really am blessed.

As usual, Troy was my foundation when the holidays did what they always to do me...stress me the hell out. We missed each other quite a bit with RL obligations, but emails and messenger always keep us in contact when SL time is in short supply. I'm looking forward to listening to some of his rocking sets and hitting a few lives shows soon. ;))

peace