One year draws to a close...

...and another one awaits.

We have memories of the past; we have hope for the future, but we only exist in the HERE and NOW. I find it interesting that we experience time in a linear fashion, even though research into quantum physics suggests that time is no more linear than space. Quantum physics also tells us that all possible outcomes/realities exist, at the quantum level mind you, but I wonder.

Troy will be the first to tell me I spend too much time looking backwards rather than forwards. He's right. I've spent a great deal of emotional energy looking at the choices I've made, the jobs I've quit, the men I've left, the friendships I've neglected, and I get very bogged down in the might-have-beens. It's an exhausting way to live, but I like to think that somewhere out there is a real life Me who didn't make some of the more stellar mistakes I have. Time and again, Troy preaches the sermon of self-forgiveness, encouraging me to start fresh everyday.

Which brings me to the dreaded tradition of January 1. I like to talk about New Year's Resolutions. I don't like to make them. My resolve (notice the word is made up of "re" to do again, and "solve" to figure out...so the term resolution carries an inherent feeling of been there, done that) is generally in short supply. :P

If I were making resolutions this year, they wouldn't be the 'lose weight' or 'save money' variety. I would resolve to be a better friend, in all realities. I would resolve to be a better mom, a more disciplined poet/writer, a kinder person. Maybe I can try to do those things without the pressure and possible failure of a resolution. I like that.

On that note, Happy New Year!!!!

Remember, 'Time is an illusion, lunchtime, doubly so." (with apologies to douglas adams)

peace