a few more group spaces in the 'ole profile! ;)

Yesterday, I was hella busy IRL recovering from a week's worth of house guests and trying to get ready for tonight. Though Troy & I keep in touch all day long via email & IM, he'd told me he was in SL at Sanctuary Rock enjoying the lag, wondering if I could make it. He didn't stay long, and I couldn't get there before he logged off. As my favorite uncle the cowboy loves to say 'damn the luck.'

I was, however, able to log onto SL earlier in the day in order to tender my official resignation to Tempest & Nessa. I was sorry to do it, but I really think it's for the best right now. I do love Sanctuary Rock, and I certainly don't discount the possibility that I might return some day--I just don't have the time right now. It's a great club filled with dedicated folks who make it truly unique & kickass!!! Cheers to you all!

Happy New Year! ;)

here's the deal

Firstly, a belated Merry Christmas and a very safe & happy New Year's to anyone who might read this! I've been busy as hell IRL since thanksgiving, having a great time with family & friends, but working on a pretty high stress level. This has definitely been the best holiday season since my parents divorced 14 years ago. Having kiddos really does give you a whole new perspective of Christmas--cliched but true.

So, I got an email from my SL rental group letting me know the rent on the place where Troy and I live is up in a week. We generally pay 4-6 weeks at a time, so these messages are helpful. Anyway, I just now logged on to cap off the rent...and I could not remember my SL password.

Troy stopped DJing around Thanksgiving, and I quit hosting at the same time. Since then, we've hardly logged onto SL at all...not even on our one year partnering anniversary (Happy Belated Anniversary, hun). My relationship with Troy is so much deeper than SL, and has been for so long. I did think, when we decided to quit our jobs, that perhaps I'd try to come back to hosting after the craziness of the holidays passed.

So, I couldn't remember my password? I think that's my answer, right there. SL is a gorgeous world, and I will never 'leave' (I always chuckle when people make big pronouncements about "leaving SL") but it's clear hosting is not a very big part of my life right now. Could that change? Of course. I leave all options open. Do I think it's likely? Not particularly.

The whole reason Troy and I stopped working was to make sure any free online time we had was spent doing stuff we wanted, and I think, now more than ever, what we want in SL is just to log on and have fun, hang out with friends, listen to music, and chill together.

Anyway, it's hella late, and I've got house guests who are going to want fed in the morning.

Stay warm and toasty. :D
peace

Time for a Change

Troy & I have gone back & forth over the last year (yes, our one year partnering anniversary is coming up Dec. 13!) debating/regretting/looking forward to how much time we spend in SL, and what we do with that time. It's not a matter of 'leaving' SL, but just an acknowledgement that it no longer fills whatever need it once did, is no longer as fun as it once was. As such, Troy has decided to give up DJing, and I'm no longer hosting at Sanctuary Rock or C.O.R., and Rykk & Kaedy are closing Freakheim soon.

After the first of the year, Troy & I are going to decide if we miss working, and if so, one or both of us will probably return in some fashion. If not, we'll simply use the limited time we have in SL as OUR time, hanging out with friends, listening to other DJ's we like, and getting to more live shows.

Oh, and 19 shopping days to Christmas, and I've purchased a total of TWO gifts...so, erm, you know what the next few weeks hold for me. In "wtf were you thinking?" news, I've decided to host my in-laws for Christmas this year...which will mean cramming upwards of 13 people in our tiny house, and then FEEDING them. I know 13 isn't a lot, but it is when you only cook for three. *insert panicky sigh here* I wonder how much a keg would cost. I think it would be cheaper than how many bottles of beer it's going to take to get me through the event.

In the midst of the materialism of the holiday season, let's not forget one of the reasons for the season. The birth of a man who had the radical idea to love your enemies, heal the sick, feed the poor, take care of the elderly, and never pass up a glass of wine.

peace

A Reason for Giving Thanks

You can run, but you can't hide. The holidays are here!

The 'official' start of the holiday season (in the US) is this week with Thanksgiving. A holiday shared in many cultures across many centuries, in one form or another. The growing season at an end, the harvests completed, stores of food to last a brutal winter, and a big party to celebrate and brace for the difficult months to come. Historically, in the US, it's tied to the first pilgrims and their rather miraculous survival (with the help of those who were already here). It didn't become an official holiday here until the 1940's, I think. But the heart of Thanksgiving is to be thankful for life, health, food, family, and friends.

This is a hard time of year for many folks, myself included. Things have changed for me in recent months...a devastating loss, and then a slow but steady path back towards healing. Of course, there's also a little blond boy who rules my world--he has certainly helped to bring back a sense of wonder to my Christmas spirit.

For the past month, I've used my status updates in facebook to express what I'm thankful for each day. It's been a great deal of fun...I've given thanks for the simplest things, a pretty day, a good cup of coffee, a talk with a friend, and I've given thanks for my husband, my son, and my incredibly blessed life.

The habit of giving thanks is a sure road to happiness. The more you stop and see what you *have* rather than what you don't, the more you count your blessings and the happier you become. Well, it works for me anyway.

So, I'd like to wish a Happy Thanksgiving to any American followers, and to anyone else who happens to stumble along, have a good holiday season. :D

peace

46 days till WHAT?

So, I'm doing my daily ritual of facebooking, and someone sends me some new app thingy that tells me it's 46 days until Christmas. Although I own many calendars, including the one that bosses me around all day long on my blackberry, I still managed to be surprised. The number of presents I've purchased? zero The number of christmas cards I've purchased? zero The number of lists (I LOVE the lists) designed to get my arse in gear? zero *reaches for pen and paper to begin list number ONE*

But before the insanity of an over-commercialized, highly inebriated christmas, we've got to get through Thanksgiving. My husband is working that wednesday, thursday, and friday, and my mom and I are planning a road trip with my son down to OK to see some relatives. This should be very interesting. (that's code for 'wtf was I thinking agreeing to go without my husband?')

In my youth, my family was tightly knit...holidays were passed together, with kids sleeping on floor while the adults laughed into the early morning playing cards. Cancer, death, divorce, & MUCH relocating have since intervened. My son won't get to experience these big family events, not in the same way, not the Norman Rockwell perfection I clearly remember. *sighs* So, I pack up the kiddo and head south, trying to recreate some of that 'spirit of things past' for my son. Wish me luck.

'Tis the season...let's try for peace.

two favorite quotations...

One of my most annoying habits is using other people's words (via essays, novels, poems, or songs) to express how I feel. I guess a lifetime studying literature will do that for you. Two quotations stand out, have stood out to me, in recent days with all the changes at Sanctuary Rock, changes with old friends & lovers (RL), and the place I'm at right now.

I constantly try to practice the art of gratitude...seeing that many of the things I take for granted are actually incredible gifts of fortune...from my home, my husband's job, & our health to something like a washing machine, a good cup of coffee, or a talk with a friend. The curse of Modern Life is that it's too easy...free time is a gift that most do not know how to use (think of the precious hours of your life squandered in front of the television). When not managed properly, with a sense of purpose & urgency, free time allows one to wallow, to become overly introspective, to become weak. I'm not condemning or pointing a finger; I'm speaking from experience.

Eleanor Roosevelt (1884-1962) was the wife of US President Franklin Delano Roosevelt. Her writings, her activism, her sense of purpose remain inspirations for many still. These are my two favorite statements pulled from her writings.

"You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You must do the thing which you think you cannot do."

I italicized the second sentence because the implications of it are so powerful to me...it's about challenging yourself, fighting chaos, fighting inertia, & recognizing the time is NOW, and excuses are the surest paths to regret. I'd rather regret the things I did yet failed at than regret NOT doing the things I was too afraid to try. If that makes sense?

"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent. "

This is probably the way I try to look at every encounter with someone who *seems* to have more than me. Humans are insecure by nature, and no one has the market cornered on feeling sorry for oneself. While some like to beat the "we are all alone" drum, I acknowledge our isolation, but I take solace in the shared needs, the need for love, acceptance, purpose, strength, and laughter.

That's enough philosophical ranting for one day. I suppose the final need, laughter, is the most important to me. If this life is a tragedy, (and it IS going to end badly for us all), then it's the laughs along the way that I need most.

peace

things that make you go hmmm....

At the height of my SL addiction, I was logging at least 2 or 3 hours every day online. That's no longer the case. Primarily because of changes in my RL, my time in SL has dwindled significantly over the past year. I probably don't log much more than 7 or 8 hours a week in SL these days, and 5 of those are working or getting ready for a shift. Another reason for the change is that SL is no longer my first choice when I have free time, or even free time on the computer (thanks facebook!). To say I'm 'out of the loop' when it comes to the SL gossip mill is a rather dramatic understatement (and one I'm grateful for!).

So, a lot of stuff that I don't have a clue about happened this weekend at Sanctuary Rock, and the result is that a group of people left the club entirely. I didn't know either mOxi or Eme that well, but of the few interactions I did have with them, I don't have a single negative thing to say. They were nice, helpful, & professional. My relationships with Leetah & V, however, certainly affected my day-to-day life in SL.

Leetah hired and trained me as a host. She is kind, funny, laid back, supportive, professional, and she was a great boss. We never developed much more than a working relationship, but it was a good one because of her managerial style. I am certainly sad to see her go.

Veronica is one of the few people in SL I actually consider a friend. I think we tend to view things in a similar way, and we really enjoy just having fun & being goofy in Local chat, especially with Jopps & Troy. We flirt, we tease, we laugh. My favorite shifts hosting at SR were the ones she and Jopps attended. And, she's gone.

I don't know what happened between the managers at SR, and frankly, that's the way I prefer it. But, I am sad to see good people who poured a great deal of time & energy into SR go, especially since it seems the vibe/morale is pretty bad right now. I wish the new managers (and those old managers in new positions) all the best. Continuity is a rare bird in SL, but a club like SR needs it to survive. The concepts of a fun atmosphere and a sense of family at the club, well, those concepts are what make any club (SL or RL) a place people want to be--they are the things that make Sanctuary Rock special. I hope the club, and those who are still there, can work to repair the rift that losing these good people has caused.

I guess that's enough pontificating.

peace

missed again!

This weekend is a second SL Live Musician get-together that I won't be attending. The last one, a few months ago, was in Canada. Since I lack both a passport & the balls to fly, (not to mention ANY spare cash), I knew it was impossible for me to attend. Well, this weekend, some of the best musicians in SL (Norris Shepherd & Max Kleene among them) are once again converging together in a Holiday Inn somewhere in Dallas, TX, and I'm SOOOOOO jealous.

Dallas is maybe an 8-10 drive for me, and I think someday I'm going to really regret not pushing harder to get a sitter for the weekend, a credit card I could charge the whole thing on, & a friend who'd let me drag her down there. Since my husband works most weekends, he could serve as neither caregiver for the kiddo nor road trip buddy. *sighs*

In other, better, news, Troy has picked up a four week gig back at The Colosseum Of Rock starting next Friday, 11 -1 SLT. I'm hoping to host those events for him, and I'm really happy to see him getting excited about DJing again. :D

Oh, and my two year rez date came & went. So much for all the insight, philosophical musings, blah, blah, blah. :P

peace

not quite a month since...

...my last post ranting about my previous landlords. A few nights after my post, someone from the residence group IM'd me to find out what had happened. She hadn't been in SL in several days, and like many, logged on to find her house gone, and all her stuff mass-dumped into her Lost & Found.

I told her what I knew about St Lucia Properties disappearing, and then she returned the favor. Turns out she knew Xavier and Lexus in RL, or on facebook, etc. They'd both deleted themselves from her facebook account/msn/etc. From what she knew, it seems that they were in dire straits, dealing with RL job loss & bankruptcy. So, I'm not quite as angry about losing $10 in rent. I wish they'd have handled it differently, even if they couldn't/wouldn't refund prepaid rent amounts. But, if it was a choice between taking the linden OR paying the mortgage in RL, I know what I'd have done. So it goes.

Troy & I decided upon a fabulous place at Chiron Towers back in Nunki Kai. I've been having a great time decorating. I also became a Twisted Survivor from the Twisted Hunt!! It's going to take me weeks to open 156 boxes! It's like an SL Twisted Christmas. ha

Then, Troy took two weeks off from SL/djing. Knowing, as I do, the physical struggles he deals with on a daily basis, I wasn't surprised at all. He's burnt out & needs a break. A few days ago, he told me if I left SL, he would follow...that I was the only reason he came there. What's funny is I've said the exact same thing to him.

So, once again, we find ourselves on the precipice of moving our friendship entirely into the realm of RL, which, honestly, is where 95% of it is carried out anyway. Makes me wonder, as always, what any of us (who aren't artists or musicians or entrepreneurs) are doing in SL. Talking fetuses, lame cartoon sex, high school gossip, bullshit drama, and precious time spent staring at a monitor rather than a friend or lover. (sighs whilst humming "we're all crazy now")

peace

Home is Where You Rez It...

Monday night I logged onto SL to continue my Twisted Hunt (stalling out in the 120's...) only to find my plans quite thwarted. The usually quiet St. Lucia Bay Properties Group IM was buzzing.

I clicked on the tab, assuming someone was throwing a party, needed help with deeding a tv or radio, or was simply bored. What I was able to deduce, after a few questions, is that the owners of St Lucia Bay, Xavier Hathaway & Lexus Daviau, had posted the entire community for sale in an Invite-Only (slumlord) group, picked up every single rent box, deleted all St Lucia Bay residents from their friends' lists, left the St. Lucia Bay Properties Group, and "left" SL, due to a 'family emergency."

They sent NO group notices, they issued NO refunds (Troy and I had five weeks left on our new place that we loved), they gave NO warning to any residents PRIOR to posting the sims for sale. Xavier did send a one sentence IM to a few St. Lucia Bay Residents Monday afternoon, but not to me, and it explained nothing. Everyone generally found out via the Group IM as residents of the first few sims to sell logged on to find their houses gone and all their possessions mass dumped into their Lost & Found folder. They turned to Group IM, and that's when Xavier's actions were discovered. Only one member of the management staff had the courage or decency to answer questions as best she could, and help people with 'deeded to group' items.

Needless to say, former residents of these sims are furious, stunned, and saddened. For Troy & I, the sims held great sentimental value. That's the first place we lived together, that's where we lived when we partnered. Many, many good memories....Gone with the Grid. (okay, so, I haven't lost my sarcastic sense of humor).

There is no legal accountability to Landlords in SL, so it's "Renter Beware." I know that. I also know that SL Landlords have a long & ugly history of buying/selling sims with NO concern for the residents. While commiserating in Group IM, I learned many of my former neighbors have gone through this sort of thing SEVERAL times in SL.

I find the actions of the new owners, deleting people's homes and mass returning their stuff into a jumbled mess in Lost & Found, JUST as rude and thoughtless as what Xavier and Lexus did. Again, no one even bothered to send us a Group Notice. You just logged on & figured it out for yourself.

I'll fill out the LL Complaint form, knowing it will do no good. I already sent Xavier a notecard asking for a rental refund and an explanation. He's not accepted it. I counted him as a friend and an honest businessman. I don't know what the family emergency was, but he had enough time to do many things before he left, but refunds & communicating to former tenants were not his priorities.

So, Troy & I are back at Nunki Kai for the time being, until we figure out what to do. I guess it's a good thing we never got a chance to throw that House Warming Party...

tongue-tied & twisted

So, when it's been so damn long since you logged in to your blog that you have trouble remember your User ID & password, you know it's time to say something, anything, or take the whole damn thing down. Since I'm far too vain for the latter, I guess I'll bore ya.

Troy & I are doing the Twisted Hunt. It is the first such hunt for both of us, and we're loving/hating it. We're both dangerously OCD, so the *need* to find every damn box will keep us going until the end. We're also both incredibly impatient, which speaks for the 'hating' part.

What I will say is that if you've never done a hunt, start with this one. DV8 is the first stop (and if I knew how to add a slurl, I would...look it up in search in-world, damn it). What I've loved, besides getting great hunt items, is finding these awesome stores & designers that I never would've known about otherwise. If you're tired of your searches for clothing turning up the same results (Naughty Neva...really?) then you are definitely ready for the Twisted Hunt. Do it! Ya know ya wanna...but hurry, it ends the end of September.

I'd like to give major kudos to the Hunt Organizers who staff the Twisted Hunt Group IM, doling out much needed hints. I'd also like to slap the group members who are rude in IM. Some get angry when they don't get their hint right away, or when the hint doesn't help them. Again, really? It's free, it's a *hunt,* and the group moderators are volunteering their time to help us. So, rather than being a jackass, how about some patience & a "thank-you" when someone tries to help you?

Whew, got that off my chest. Okay, what else? Next month is my second rez day in SL, and the first anniversary of this languishing blog. So, erm, that will probably make me all philosophical...you've been warned!

Oh, and damn it, there's another Jam Session with SL Live Musicians, this time in Dallas, Texas October 23-25. I want to go soooooo badly. It's not a very long drive for me. I seriously doubt I find the money OR the childcare to do it, but if you are in the Dallas area, I strongly encourage you to get the details and attend. You can drop me an IM or NC in-world if you're unsure who to contact. I've got the registration info in my inventory. I'm betting Norris has some info on his blog about it, too.

Okay, my beer's getting warm. I gotta cut this short.
peace

A Big Move...

I will celebrate two years in SL this October, and Troy will celebrate three in December. When I met Troy, he had a great house in the Nunki Kai/Sagittaria Estates. I rented an apartment there for a short time as well. It's a great collection of sims, expertly designed & landscaped, if a bit overcrowded.

When Troy & I decided to move in together last fall, we also decided to make a fresh start in a new place. Troy, with little patience for shopping, entrusted me with the property search. hehe We agreed to rent and not buy, and we had a price range/number of prims in mind. Now, one of my favorite past times in SL is looking at land/residences/estates, so scoping out the grid for our first place together was great, great fun. In my search, I stumbled upon St Lucia Bay Properties, owned by real life husband & wife Xavier Hathaway & Lexus Daviau. That was over a year ago, and though I still sim-surf for properties, I've never found anything with the combination of privacy, attention to detail, value, and management of the St Lucia Properties.

Troy & I also share the characteristic of, shall I say, thriftiness...and as such, we've gone back & forth from the luxury of having a big, private island with lots of prims to the practicality of having a smaller place/rent. As I've previously gone on and on about, we've each had a difficult summer in our RL's. Though we've stayed together, and are stronger for it, it has not been easy for either of us. Today, we decided to treat ourselves to a little something special, and we rented our biggest place yet in St Lucia Bay Properties. It's a stunning home on a little island on the edge of the 11 sim region. I'll post a pic soon, but you can see it on my in-world profile now.

I'd like to say a special thank you to Xavier. He and his wife do a wonderful job managing these sims, and they've recently opened a mall area and nightclub, with great events, live dj's, and contests. As SL landlords, they are readily accessible for problems, they provide excellent customer service (certainly an endangered species in SL) and Xavier has put up with me repeatedly pestering him for almost a year now. Troy & I are very grateful.

I'm looking forward to decorating our new home, and we hope to have a little housewarming party very soon. Today was a good day. :D

peace

"Ask not for whom the bell tolls...

...it tolls for thee." John Donne

So, it's been one of those seasons. I'm not a macabre person by nature, but I've had my share of illness & death this spring/summer, so death weighs more heavily on my mind than usual. I'm inspired by the courage of those around me who battle illness, and I'm moved to ponder the afterlife.

Ten years ago, my grandmother lost her fight with cancer. I was at her side (as was the rest of the family) when she died. One moment she was there, breathing, crying, talking, and then, she was essentially an inanimate object. I guess that's why some refer to the body as a shell that houses spirit/consciousness. I do not believe in the pearly gates of the judeo-christian heaven, but I DO believe that her essence, her love, her energy, they had to go someplace, right? I remember asking myself "Where did all the love she held in her heart go?"

The summer preceding her death, I had an "intuitive portrait" done by a mystic/seer. I wasn't entirely certain how much I believed in such a gift, but the things this woman knew, such as I disliked cats and loved dogs, was a night person, liked birds, had taught/would return to teaching (right on both counts), it made a believer out of me. The kicker was that this woman "saw" my Native American spirit guide. Mind you, this was the middle of winter, I was as pale as could be, blond hair, blue eyes...and she saw the guide...a female ancestor who watches over me. hmmm

I sat down to write this blog entry in a moment of inspiration, presumably with a point. Said point has since eluded me. Maybe the thoughts of my grandmother's death, this spirit guide, and my own recent experiences are connected? Maybe whatever was going to tie it all together for me will come back to me...or maybe the connection is the point. I've not had enough coffee to go further than that.

peace

Why Everything Sucks...

I adore him, and he's so damn right...




In a completely unrelated point, I'm going to rant about a huge pet peeve of mine, and that's a person's inability to see the 'big picture' because he or she is too mired down in petty selfishness. I guess I feel I've gotten an ass-kicking worth of perspective this summer, and I'm still working through it. Two RL friends of mine both lost their younger brother within a day of each other. One was 30, and the other was 26; one had a very rare medical condition, and the other had a car accident. Both left behind grieving families, and one leaves behind a widow and two small children. My RL sis is battling cancer, a best friend from high school battles MS. Real struggles, real heartache, real tragedy.

Then I look at all the trivial ways people manage to feel sorry for themselves, all the energy they spend nursing old wounds or manipulating or hating, and I just wonder if that's really all they have to do with their time--because our time is in damn short supply. I'm not what you'd call an optimist, but one thing I try to practice is the art of gratitude. I'm thankful for my health. I'm thankful that the people I love are still with me. But, I am tired of other people's selfish bullshit, and I wish they'd spend as much energy being grateful for what they have as they spend bitching about what they don't.

things can only get better...right?

This has not been a good summer for myself or for Troy, not in terms of SL, but in terms of RL. I'm not talking 'gosh, I wish I had a different job, could lose some weight, could buy a new car' but serious loss and illness. We've both scaled back our SL time, cut some online commitments, and tried to focus on healing. I'm tired of bad things happening to us. I know all of life is a cycle, with ups and downs, but the downs are really starting to add up.

The only positive thing I can see is that despite all that we've been through, Troy and I have been through it together. It's no lie to say we've each gone through hell for the other over the past (almost) two years of friendship and seven months of partnering. That's something, something pretty damn significant. We're still together, still providing support for the rough times in RL, and a little bit of relief when we meet up in SL.

The other, much much happier reason for this entry is to highlight some amazing events in Live Music this weekend. Norris Shepherd, Max Kleene, Jase Branner, and Mash Rhodes are just a few of the SL musicians who will be meeting up this weekend in Montreal, with a full day of concerts scheduled together. It's going to be completely amazing. I'm pasting in the link from Norris's blog with a list of show times. You should absolutely, positively, without question attend a show. :D

http://www.norrisshepherd.com/?p=112

To SLove or Not to SLove: The Ex's

I don't know why I decided to address this particular issue in my series--many SL bloggers have shared their experiences with us, showing firsthand the pain SL brings when things don't work out. I have only "dated" two people in SL, and the man I "left" for Troy no longer plays the game or is now using an Alt who I don't know. I never had to deal with him in that awkward post break-up way--forced pleasantries, smoldering resentments, passive-aggressive jealousies, redefining boundaries...all that. So, erm, yeah, I'm no expert on SL ex's. (RL, now, THAT is another story...but not one for this blog).

So, what pontificating can I do? I think one of the trickiest part of navigating through SL with an ex (or more) lurking about might be if the Great Divide between SL and RL has been breached. Once you let someone into your RL, it's not quite as easy as deleting a name from a Friends List and hitting "Mute" on a profile. Many SL residents are also engaged in relationships that might get them into a fair bit of RL trouble, and crossing that divide can potentially threaten established RL relationships. Even if the divide stays firmly intact, the heart doesn't differentiate SL and RL. My profile once stated "Hearts broken in SL are also broken in RL." I think that says it all. I guess the question becomes...why do we put ourselves out there, taking the 'virtual' risk for RL trouble and heartache? Yes, that IS the question, isn't it?

And for that, I have no answers...or too many answers...or answers that contradict...or I need another cup of coffee and it's time to end this rambling.

not a hallmark card, but...

Troy and I celebrated our 6 month anniversary on June 13. :D

Happy Belated Anniversary, hun!!

xoxoxoxoxox

To SLove or Not to SLove: The Stalker

Okay, so, it's been awhile. The last two months of my RL have been so amazingly shitty...I can't even begin to go into it. Suffice it to say that I'm not the same person that I was, that I suffered a very unexpected loss, and that I'm seeing things very differently (which, like most things, is both good and bad). A very sincere thank you to Troy for being my rock, as always. I do not know what I would do without you. You are an amazing friend.

This is a series on the way love is 'played' out in SL that I started long, long ago...and it's been over a month since my last entry. This one is particularly pointless, but it's the best I can do.

I remember the good ole days...stalking involved prank phone calls, driving past someone's house, friends' houses, place of employment, bars he or she might frequent...it was authentic, and it required actual effort. These days, stalking is done electronically from the comfort of one's own home...facebook, myspace, blogs, twitter, IM, email, texting...and then there's SL.

There are two basic types of stalkers: the ex and the never-was. The ex, pathetically, can't or won't move on, and resorts to cyber-stalking in an effort to stay relevant, to continue to be a topic of conversation, to maintain the connection with their former love. Rehashing things on one's blog, making snide comments on facebook, (or in SL, on one's profile), popping online as soon as you do--just a few of the ways the stalker tries to stay in the picture.

The never-was is exactly that...someone you never dated who is ALWAYS keeping updated on your activities, always IM'ing you, always there--too friendly, too eager, too creepy.

Lots of folks in SL choose to check the box that keeps their online status hidden to everyone except Friends and Groups...and many times, their groups are also hidden or by invitation only. I wonder...is this because they are the stalker or the stalkee? If you suspect you are being stalked, and you only know the person in SL, you can delete him or her from your friends list, leave all mutual groups, check the aforementioned box, and move on. If you've let that person into your RL, then, you've got all the other avenues of contact to deal with. I know this is another reason people pick up Alts in SL...avoiding the stalker (or is it to become the stalker?) :P

I don't have much else to say on this topic. Having been stalked by an ex in RL, in a situation that became very scary, the concept of cyber-stalking seems pretty lame to me. I know it's hard to let go of the ex or the never-was, but sometimes, a clean break is the best way to heal and....



Next time: The Exes

To SLove or Not to SLove: The Player

Since it's been over two months since I started this "series" as I called it, I thought I should finally get off my virtual ass and write the next segment. Brace yourself to be unimpressed. It's been a tremendously shitty past couple of weeks in my RL, and it doesn't look like it's going to get any better anytime soon. Sarcasm and cynicism levels are reaching an all-time high.

The Player:

First off, to define the player, and then to address various ways the Player operates. In my opinion, a Player is someone who thinks virtual sex/intimacy in a virtual world is nothing more than a means to feel better about him or herself in the real world. A Player does not appreciate or respect the fact that each avatar is, in fact, a real human being, bringing real emotions to the grid.

The Method: This is when the lying begins...

There are lots of ways to manipulate, lie, cheat, and hurt someone in SL (just as in RL), but I have tried to distill it down to two categories. The first category is the Alt. Using an Alt to carry on sexual and emotional relationships with more than one resident, a person can lead several partners to believe they are engaged in monogamous SL relationships. The stories of treachery and heartache I've heard of because of the use of alts are just as destructive and devastating as what happens in real life. A broken heart does not differentiate SL/RL.

The other method a Player will use is the exact opposite. This person espouses a personal philosophy of 'free-spiritedness' which includes, as far as I can tell, scanning his or her friend's list every time he or she logs on to see who might like to hang out (and fuck). Everyone is supposed to keep their hearts in check, have a good time, and bed/ball hope with disease-free bliss.

When fuck-buddies are foolish enough to let their hearts get involved, or when the resident with multiple Alts finds his or her partners becoming increasingly suspicious, the Player finds himself in a tricky position. Cut & run (which would be a tremendous gift to the other partners) or try to juggle a handful of hearts? Excuses, unexplained absences, E-mails and IM's that somehow never arrive, blaming online/offline status discrepancies on SL 'glitches', claims to have missed online notifications...the ways the Player will try to keep everybody happy, satisfied, and in the dark are as hopeless as they are lame.

Whether in SL or RL, the victims of the Player, ultimately, must find the strength to say good-bye. There's an old saying that the former US president had some trouble with..."Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me." And that's exactly right. If you think some jackass is screwing around on you, dump him or her and move on. Period. If you know some jackass is screwing around on you, then every minute you continue to stay in that relationship eats away at your self-esteem. To stay is as stupid as it is self-destructive. As Eleanor Roosevelt said "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." The question is, why give that consent in any circumstance, least of all, a virtual world of anonymity.

In truth, I feel a bit sorry for the Player....substituting virtual sex/intimacy for something real, lying and hurting others in a desperate attempt to feel relevant or needed...it's pretty pathetic. The defect, of course, is obvious. The path of destruction runs both ways. Karma (and this I know from experience) is a cold-hearted bitch who will win every single time.

Next time: The Stalker

Influential Albums

Awhile back, both Troy and I made lists of the most influential albums in our lives. We aren't exactly spring chickens (though he's much older than I am--hehe) so that might reflect some of our choices. I thought it was an interesting exercise, and I plan to hold on to the list and see how it changes in time.

Troy's List:
Born to Run - Bruce Springsteen
Saints and Sinners - Whitesnake
Hysteria - Def Leppard
Number of the Beast - Iron Maiden
Full Moon Fever - Tom Petty
Zenyatta Mondatta - Police
Back In Black - AC/DC
Appetite for Destruction - Guns n Roses
Streetlife Serenade - Billy Joel
Hotel California - Eagles
Blues Brothers Soundtrack - The Blues Brothers
Perfect Strangers - Deep Purple
Flex-able - Steve Vai
Joe's Garage - Frank Zappa
90215 - Yes
Heavy Metal Be-Bop - The Brecker Bros
Bon Jovi - Slippery When Wet
Queen - Bohemian Rhapsody
Nightfly - Donald Fagen
The Blizzard of Oz - Ozzy Osbourne
1984 -Van Halen
Chronicles - Rush
David Lee Roth - Eat 'em and Smile
Among the Living - Anthrax
Freeze Frame - J Geils Band


Lissa's List:
Sheryl Crow---The Globe Sessions
matchbox 20---Yourself or Someone Like You
Ani DiFranco---Not a Pretty Girl
Def Leppard---Pyromania AND Hysteria
Van Halen---5150, FUCK, Balance
Sarah Mclachlan---Surfacing AND Fumbling Towards Ecstasy
Fleetwood Mac---Rumours
ac/dc---Back in Black
Paula Cole---This Fire
U2---The Joshua Tree
Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers---Full Moon Fever
Don Henley---Building the Perfect Beast
Stevie Nicks---Rock a Little
Eagles---Greatest Hits vol 2
Guns and Roses---Appetite for Destruction
Melissa Etheridge---Yes I Am
Foo Fighers---The Colour and the Shape
Phil Collins---No Jacket Required
Whitesnake---self-titled
Bryan Adams---Reckless
Say Anything soundtrack

Still working on my SLove series (she says with less and less conviction). :P

Oh, and I just got hired to host at Sanctuary Rock. WooT!!! Leetah totally rocks and trained me with great patience and skill. It was the first time we'd really spent any time together, and she is damn cool!!

My shifts start next week, Thursdays from 2-4 with DJ Troy, and Saturdays from 2-4 with super-SEXY Guenevere DeCuir...come watch me over-spam and foul up the voting. :P

but who's counting?

Happy Anniversary to Troy & Lissa, who celebrate 4 months of partnered bliss in SL on the 13th of April. And they said it wouldn't last. ha

But, alas, the times, they are a'changing. Due to RL, Troy has had to pull back his DJ schedule a bit and do some rearranging. As our friends may have noticed, lately, we just aren't in SL that much unless he's working. We've missed our SL time together, but on the other hand, we've always communicated via other methods throughout the day. SL is sometimes more a hindrance to us spending quality time together, really listening to each other, than a help.

My RL is also undergoing some fairly profound changes (details to come, maybe), and I see myself phasing out, to some extent, of this fantasy world. One of the issues about SL that troubles me the most is that SL pulls people away from RL friends and family by draining both time and emotional energy (our most precious resources) spent while logged on. For those who don't have RL friends and family, or those whose RL relationships trend towards the conflicted & painful, I can understand the draw of SL. It's a great way to feel a sense of community, to express oneself, to socialize.

But for too many residents, I think SL lets us hide from, deny, and avoid the things in our real lives that we should be dealing with, only we just don't want to. Ignoring a problem is always easier, for awhile anyway, than facing it. To tell the truth, for a time, I even let SL isolate me from my RL friends and family--I pushed people away so I could log on. Not any more, and not for some time now. Maybe it's just because my focus has been so sharply redirected towards RL that I'm thinking about all this now. SL is not inherently evil, is it? :P I don't know. I think I've begun to ramble. ;)

I'm still working on the SLove piece, but my RL has been very demanding, and the series is not something I've wanted to dedicate the time to. I've not left it, though.

Did I have a point? Oh, yes. Happy Anniversary, Troy. You are truly the very best thing about SL for me. xoxoxoxxoxo

To SLove or Not to SLove: The Partners

Installment number two examining the various ways SL residents handle affairs of the heart. Yes, I've got a lot of free time. :P

The Partners:

When I first joined SL, I marveled at the notion of SL residents partnering. I may even have laughed at their folly and uttered the world 'never.' My, how times have changed. :P

For a mere 10L, you and your SL sweetie can show the world how you feel via the Profile Partner Box. While some residents view partnering as the equivalent of marriage in SL, others treat it as 'going steady' or the facebook designation 'in a relationship with.' Still others seem to do it because they like spending 10L on a whim.

It is certainly possible to be monogamous in SL without being partnered, but for those who take it seriously, adding someone's name to a profile box shows the rest of SL the two people involved have attained some element of exclusivity in their online relationship. It sends a definite message.

Or does it?

For a slightly higher, but still damn cheap, fee of 25L, you can once again announce to the world you've had a change of 'heart.'

I'm not sure if LL has done a statistical analysis, but I'd ballpark the average SL partnership at lasting less than a month or two. Granted, time is SL does this virtual compression-thing, but even by Hollywood standards, a month is pretty pathetic, especially if you aren't picking up his dirty socks or listening to him snore.

Though my partner will deny it, he, in fact, proposed to me. I don't know which one of us was more shocked by his actions. We don't call it a marriage--we both have RL spouses. We didn't have a wedding ceremony; we didn't have an officiate; we don't have an SL marriage certificate. For us, it's a best friend/partnership that also shows the rest of SL that we are exclusive. He's one of my very best friends, in both lives, and I'm proud to call him my partner, even if it's only in a pixelated fantasy-land.

One of the most complex aspects of SL partnering involves residents who are monogamous or married (to someone other than their SL partners) in real life. There are two primary views regarding SLove and married-in-RL implications.

The first is that it's cheating. A few months ago, a friend and fellow blogger published a very good piece on the subject of SL partnerships focusing on the ethics when the people involved have real life spouses. Her stance was that if you are married/monogamous in RL and you engage in SL romance, you are cheating on your real life spouse/partner. I believe she made some very good points, but I also believe that her views do not take into account the fact that every RL relationship is unique, and what works for some does not work for others.

The second view, and the one I believe many in SL use to justify their behavior, is that because SL relationships are 'virtual' they do not constitute real life infidelity. By this definition, the sex has to be real in order for cheating to have occurred. In other words, if you aren't staying late after work to make out with a co-worker, or having a fling on your business trip, and it all stays online, you've not broken your RL vows. I believe this view discounts or ignores the very real emotional impact of online relationships. However, this view does suggest, and I agree, that it's not entirely reasonable to expect all your emotional needs to be fulfilled by one person, for ever. Let's not forget that marriage is a social construct designed to stabilize a society and make sure children are well cared-for. Monogamy is not the biological imperative.

Many of the truths we cling to depend greatly on our own point of view.

In my opinion, a resident who dates or is married in SL can be accused of cheating on the real life partner only if the resident hides his/her activities from the RL partner. If the RL spouse is aware of, or has made known that he or she does not care/is not threatened by what happens online, then I do not view that situation as cheating. So, ask yourself...If your RL spouse wouldn't like what you are doing and/or considers it cheating, then aren't you cheating? By the same token, if your RL spouse knows what you are doing and/or doesn't care, then I say, you're in the clear. ;))

Partners are motivated out of love, desire, friendship, and the willingness to take their relationship to the next level. The problems with SL partnerships are many. First of all, the lack of real human contact makes any SL intimate relationship inherently limiting. Ball-hopping and xcite aren't even in the same universe as flesh on flesh.

Second, thanks to alts, TPs and IM, cheating is practically impossible to discover, and paranoia about that fact runs rampant.

Finally, if half of all real marriages end in divorce, what percentage of SL partnerships last forever? What constitutes forever in SL, anyway?

There are three possible outcomes for every SL partnership: the couple breaks up in SL, the couple hooks up in RL, or one or both of the individuals stop logging into SL. I guess that would be the equivalent of "till death us do part" rather "till disinterest in SL us do part."

It's a complicated mess, as anyone who's ever partnered with the best of intentions can attest. Throw into the mix the RL crossover, and, well, you can find yourself in murky and sometimes painful waters, indeed.

I wouldn't change one single thing in how life with Troy and Lissa has turned out, and I hope that it is eventual disinterest in SL by one or both of us, and not disinterest in our friendship, that spells the end for Troy and Lissa.

Next time: The Player

(and I greatly prefer Norris Shepherd's version of this song...but this is a great Canadian band and a gorgeous song)

To SLove or Not to SLove: That is the Question

This is the first in what is likely to be a thought-provoking and philosophical look at romance in SL. :P I've come up with a set of categories defining the various stances residents take when it comes to romance in SL. I'll define and explain each one in a separate entry. Thoughts and opinions expressed are based on personal experience, the experiences of my close friends (who shall remain nameless) and the great torrent of annoying gossip in which SL is awash. And, when necessary, I'll just make up something to prove my point...should I have one.

The SLelibate:

Probably fairly obvious...this is someone who chooses NOT to engage in romantic relationships in SL at all. Reasons for this may vary. Some residents who are married or involved in a monogamous relationship in real life view SL romance as a form of cheating, and they choose not to date in SL for that reason. Others have tried SL dating, found it horrendous, heart-breaking, and pointless, and have subsequently sworn off romance 'forever.' Still others can't get past the silliness of cyber sex or online dating, prefer their intimacy to be a little more 'real,' and focus their energies on other things while in SL.

The SLelibate often enjoys walking the line, I've noticed. I've also noticed a hint of moral superiority amongst them. Not that I blame them. I've frequently thought that the slogan of SL should be 'Helping you Relive the Drama & Angst of High School since 2003.' To purposely remove oneself from that scene is certainly a smart move. :P



Next time: The Partners...

changes coming

The metaphors of spring and the accompanying rebirth are often used in literature and poetry. As the trees, plants, birds, and animals rise up from frozen ground and transform themselves, humans can't help but be moved by the power and beauty of it.

When I see that first hint of green in the fields of brown that surround my house, I too find myself more energetic, more hopeful, more eager to embrace challenges rather than run from them. I begin making mental lists about what needs changed, done, repaired--the things I've ignored all winter or been unable to face. In the winter, seems like most of my mental energy gets taken up dealing the short, cold days and very long, cold nights.

So, here's to spring, to new life, to the promise of renewal, to positive energy, and long sunny days ahead.

looking for a sign...

When your best friend/sweetie and your favorite SL live musician both complain to you on the same day that you need to do something with that blog that's going nowhere...you see it as a sign, right? Now, there's just the matter of a topic that's meaningful...

First of all, I got to see Norris perform this evening. It had been way too long!!! Wonderful, as always. Saw some familiar faces, including a bearded Mason...and Norris as a sort of Noob-Wookie/beaver-looking critter...the venue was mini-friendly, nicely done...the Mini Bar. It's especially entertaining when Norris has been into the wine...tonight, he was alternating wine and tea...works for me. hehe Though, I do prefer a refreshing beer myself.

So, maybe I'll try to post more often. Maybe I'll think of something witty to say.

Maybe. :P

peace

Congrats to my Sweetie!!!

For anyone reading this blog who doesn't already know, my sweetie Troy was hired this week to DJ at Sanctuary Rock!!!! WooT!!! Congrats Hun!!! I'm very proud of you!!! :))))) xoxoxox

That makes three clubs where you can find him (and therefore me) every week--the Colosseum of Rock, Freakheim Funeral Home, and Sanctuary Rock.

If you haven't made it to one of his sets, then why the hell not? :P

Time for a post, eh?

My primary activities in SL these days are working Troy's DJ shifts, which, of course, I love to bits, and seeing live shows. I managed to catch Zen Revnik last Saturday, and I realized it had been way too long. Rather than a show of only covers, Zen has RL albums and plays his originals in his sets. I love his midwestern twang, perhaps because I have one myself, and his songs are thoughtful, melodic, and sometimes even a bit melancholy (but in a good way). :P He's great. Go see him.

My rl son turns three very soon, and it seems like every day, he is more and more fun to be around. I am not particularly maternal, and I'm not really a 'baby' person. I chose to teach high school (a million years ago, when I had a paying job) as opposed to grade school for a reason. Anyway, this kid is getting pretty damn cool. To top it off, a few days ago, he informed me 'you are the best mommy I've ever seen in the whole world.' Someday, he'll figure me out, the way all kids realize the adults they once thought invincible are actually human, but for now, I rule. :)

My overall writer's block remains intact. My rl blog is languishing, and the poems just aren't coming along. I think the thing that keeps me from blogging here at this point is my growing contempt for most of the residents in SL. Of course, there is tremendous talent: singers, artists, designers, builders, writers, and dj's. It is their impressive commitments of time, effort, and creativity that give SL beauty and value. But I don't find that I'm willing to devote that time in SL to become established in any of those areas. The number of residents who are only interested in sex, having a 'good time,' and acting stupid in local chat seems to far outweigh the number of thoughtful folks who'll carry on a real conversation with you. Maybe I'm just grumpy. It's possible. :P

A friend and I were talking the other day, and he made a good observation...someone will ask him how he's doing, and he'll respond with something about his rl work or activities, and they'll pick up the conversation as if he's talking about stuff in-world. They haven't quite figured out that life outside SL is actually supposed to be more important than what happens after you rez. SL is a wondrous tool for communicating and socializing, but is it really anything else?

Yes, definitely grumpy. ;)

peace, out

Happy Anniversary

Troy and I will celebrate our two month 'partnering' the day before Valentine's Day, and true to the sl/rl conflict, we'll both be offline most of the day.

This song is for you, sweetie. It has reminded me of you for a very long time now. xoxoxox

taking a break

Going to make some changes, and maybe come back again someday.

Because I still don't have a damn thing to say...

...and I am not interested in wasting my time or yours with an entry that serves no purpose, I thought I'd throw one of my favorite poems at you. You've probably either heard or read parts of it before. There are five parts, I'm only including the fifth, my favorite, and the section I always taught to my students. Eliot is THE Modern poet...the sense of loss, of shock, of finding out everything you were expected to trust was completely untrustworthy (via the first world war), it permeates his work. It's painful, sad, obtuse, and beautiful. The combination of nonsense (a misquoted child's nursery rhyme), with the lord's prayer, with the poem...well, the juxtaposition is certainly no accident.

Enjoy.

The Hollow Men, part V, T.S. Eliot

Here we go round the prickly pear
Prickly pear prickly pear
Here we go round the prickly pear
At five o’clock in the morning.

Between the idea
And the reality
Between the motion
And the act
Falls the Shadow
                             For Thine is the Kingdom

Between the conception
And the creation
Between the emotion
And the response
Falls the Shadow
                             Life is very long

Between the desire
And the spasm
Between the potency
And the existence
Between the essence
And the descent
Falls the Shadow
                             For Thine is the Kingdom

For Thine is
Life is
For Thine is the

This is the way the world ends
This is the way the world ends
This is the way the world ends
Not with a bang but a whimper.

on inspiration and writer's block

Taking a look at Guen's blog, (Crimson Flow), she mentioned another blogger's challenge of writing about what inspires us. Since I'm struggling in that very department, in terms of my writing (whether poetry, lissa's blog, or melissa's blog that I actually DID start yesterday), I thought I would try to write about Inspiration.

First and foremost, my background in literature is the number one source of my inspiration...specifically the English Renaissance and the 20th Century American writers. The thing is, that's pretty damn intimidating. It sometimes stifles your own creativity when you are constantly comparing yourself to the greatest in your genre. Funnily enough, reading some of the other SL bloggers has also been intimidating.

...hmmm, this is coming off as anti-inspiration, but then, that's where I'm at...

Friends and family know I write, so every few years, someone gives me a blank journal as a gift. As you might guess, I've got a half-dozen, half-filled journals. The small notebook I carry in my purse, in case inspiration strikes, is more likely to contain the latest list for the grocery store as it is my latest observation or line of poetry.

BUT...what inspires me...literature, art, music, acts of kindness, the moonrise and a star-filled sky, horseback riding, the way a red-tailed hawk stalks his prey, coyotes yipping in the middle of the night, watching a thunderstorm build to the west and then race my direction, my son, my past, my present, and my future. *sighs* And, yet, I have writer's block? How ironic.

peace

or not

In accordance with the wishes of a very persuasive person *coughs and mutters* 'troy,' I've decided to do both a real blog and keep up with lissa's. However, the posts here will be less often. If I manage one intelligent post a week--on second thought, let me make that two a month---who am I kidding...I'll be doing better than I am now.

Here's hoping for inspiration. :P

Signifying Nothing

I started this blog because I had all these wonderful ideas about witty essays and observations I could make about my time in SL. I started this blog because I'm writing all the time, in my head, and I thought it would induce me to get pen to paper (metaphorically speaking). I started this blog with the best of intentions, hoping to post every other day. hmmm

I'm born and raised in the midwest, the 'heartland,' the 'bible belt,' of the US. Although I share virtually nothing with my fellow citizens in terms of the predominant politics of this region, the landscape is my home. In my bones, I am a part of this place, and sometimes, I really hate that. But, you can fight the inevitable all you want, it's still coming to get you.

One thing I do share with the farmers and ranchers of this prairie is an uncompromising bullshit detector, a true practicality, a sometimes heartless pragmatism. I am always looking for the bottom line, what's left when you scrape away everything that's superfluous, fake, trivial. The heart of the matter is all that concerns me.

That said, I'm phasing out this blog. It's pointless. I am a writer. I think my time and effort should be directed towards something I'd be inclined to share with my (non-SL) friends and family. I blog my poetry with some former co-workers, but I don't have a blog for melissa...I think it's time I did. I should be writing more poetry--I've only managed two poems this month. I should be writing essays about my son, my family, my real life friends (including the ones who've crossed over from SL), my experiences when I'm doing something besides sitting in front of a computer. This blog takes time and effort that seem to be in short supply for me these days, so...

Here's my most recent poem--it's very bad, it shows how out of practice I am. The craft of poetry requires a groove, a familiarity, a consistency of theme and subject matter. This poem shows me floundering, having lost my footing. Here's hoping I get it back.

on obligation and poetry

each morning, she dumps the used coffee grounds
from the previous day's pot, a chore she always
promises herself she'd do the night before.

each morning, she must clean the stained
carafe before she can fill it with water.

each morning, she makes a bit of a mess, cursing
softly, as she rinses the last specks of black down the drain.

each morning, when the automated wonder signals
it's finished, a steaming mug only moments away,
the boy asks 'mommy, what's that noise?'

each morning, she smiles and says, 'mommy's coffee is ready'
to which he replies, with a knowing nod, 'oh, sure.'

shakespeare will tell her the rest is silence,
yeats will tell her the center cannot hold,
hemingway will tell her it's just a dirty trick--

she'll fix herself another cup, sigh,
and wonder, what's next, what's next?

song for the day

Sometimes, you get an old song stuck in your head for no particular reason, and sometimes, you know exactly why. One of my favorite bands, too.

a few new names

My groups show my very favorite musicians in SL, and I'm always maxed out on Groups--but I caught two musicians today I'd never heard before, and I strongly recommend them (even though I can't join their groups!) Steely Decosta was at The Falls and Jase Branner was at Herd Thinner's Pub. Both are very good, and play a nice mix of artists. Have I mentioned the Live Music in SL kicks ass? No? Really? Well, it does. :P

I also saw two of the most well-known and respected SL builders/designers at Jase's show, RH Engel and Rebel Hope. They looked stunning, of course. I'd never seen them in person before.

A good day in SL, and nice to catch a few shows.

peace

and....

....today is Troy and Lissa's One Month "Partnering" Anniversary!! hehe

So, happy anniversary, sweetie!

xoxoxoxoxoxooxox

:))))

birthday musings

warning: pointless philosophical ramblings ahead...but it's my birthday, and I can pontificate if I want to. :P

I've grown tired of the games people play. I've grown tired of the 'woe is me' attitude, and I've grown tired of the silly, little stunts people pull in an effort to make themselves relevant. I purposely stay as 'out of the loop' as possible regarding the hook-ups and break-ups in SL, the backstabbing, the name-calling, and the drama. I see how truly pointless it is and how detrimental it is to one's quality of life, regardless if it's virtual or not. One of my favorite phrases regarding SL is 'don't go borrowing trouble .' Indeed.

Troy and I had a long talk Sunday about leaving SL. We've had the talk before. One of my closest friends just left, and I respect her decision, her reasons, and frankly, I think she's right. I hope her leave of absence 'takes' and she's able to stay away. There must be a 'point of no return,' for many in SL, and after that time, leaving becomes damn near impossible.

But back to Troy and I. I don't know what the future holds for us...if we'll stay or if we'll invest ourselves fully in RL. The point is, we don't need SL. We are above it. It's something we do for fun, but it doesn't define our relationship. He has a RL best friend he met in SL over two years ago, and she rarely logs on, but that doesn't matter; they are still best friends. Their relationship is stronger than and bigger than SL. That's where Troy and I are. I've pushed him away too many times, and he's put me through the wringer a few times as well, but here we are, past all that nonsense, strong as ever. More gratitude from me, and that's something I won't let go of.

peace

song for the day

It's a bright, sunny day, my RL birthday is in a few, with some plans for good times coming up, I've heard from quite a few old RL friends lately, and I feel stronger and stronger.

acoustic AND rob thomas? how could I resist? I originally saw this because the husband of one of my RL best friends posted this to her FB page. God, do I relate. :P

Top Ten Little Annoyances About SL

Just a smart-assed collection of things I've observed more than a few times in my little-over-a year in SL. I'll refrain from the obvious choices of 'lag' 'logins temporarily disabled' or the lovely gas clouds we sometimes materialize as.


10. Residents whose profile messages make pronouncements about being 'drama-free' tend to be the bitchiest, most instigator-ish of all.

9. Residents will go on and on about how they hate SL and are leaving, but few actually follow-through.

8. Residents who do actually leave either pick up an Alt or return to their former avies within a few weeks.

7. Many residents do not know the difference between flirting and looking desperate.

6. Gesture spam (aside from that of staff on-duty at venues) is the SL equivalent of idiots who talk on their cell-phones too loudly in public. No one else gives a damn, and it interferes with real conversation.

5. Residents who wear face lights/lamps bright enough to light up or wash out the avatars standing next to them are complete idiots.

4. Talking fetuses freak me the fuck out.

3. Many Residents try way too hard to look as if they aren't trying at all. One example is when people make statements in Local Chat that the reason they don't talk in Local is they are soooo busy in IM, or they say something about being in IM Hell. Profile messages which state "I don't follow local chat" also fall into this category.

2. The only thing stupider than a talking fetus is equipping your avatar to use the restroom.

And the Number One most annoying thing about SL....

1. Pointless avatar blogs. (erm, hey, that sounds familiar) :p

back into the swing of things

I'm looking forward to that sense of normalcy that follows the holidays, both in SL and RL, since the craziness of the last two weeks. My son had a wonderful christmas...the boy is spoiled! My RL saw an interesting reunion/coming together for the holidays, and it affected me greatly. I'm so pleased my parents can act like adults and not petulant children, putting someone else's wishes ahead of their own. Even at my age, I'm still learning lessons of selflessness from them. I really am blessed.

As usual, Troy was my foundation when the holidays did what they always to do me...stress me the hell out. We missed each other quite a bit with RL obligations, but emails and messenger always keep us in contact when SL time is in short supply. I'm looking forward to listening to some of his rocking sets and hitting a few lives shows soon. ;))

peace